Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
19 year old daughter has no interest in a relationship with her father
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 629218" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>SSS, welcome. It's unfortunate that your daughter's mother felt the need to exclude you from your daughter's life and obviously that influenced your daughter's perceptions. Now at age 19, your daughter is an adult and she gets to choose what it is she wants now. Even if those choices are the result of negative perceptions based on her mothers judgements of you. </p><p></p><p>At this point, it appears you've already done all you can do. If I were in your shoes, I might have dinner with my daughter and lay all the cards on the table. Tell her you love her, you had always wanted to have a relationship with her, but for <em>whatever reason</em>s, it didn't work out as you had hoped. That you are always available to her, you will always be there for her, however, at this point, you are accepting that she doesn't feel as close to you as you would like and unless she has some serious objections to your next choice, you've decided to move to advance your career. </p><p></p><p>I think at some point we need to be honest with ourselves and see the situation clearly. It is what it is. Sure you wanted it to be different, but it isn't. I don't believe it's a good idea to put pressure on your daughter to feel something that at this point she doesn't feel. Perhaps, if you tell her the truth as in how much you wanted to be a part of her life, how much you love her and that you're open to having a relationship on the terms she decides................and then let go and move forward in your own life................she will at some point feel free to make a different choice where you're concerned..........or not. But whatever she decides, it seems that it's prudent, timely and perhaps even necessary, for you to move forward in your own life now.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes when we are able to let go of our own cemented viewpoints, it allows the other person the freedom to make a different choice. I wouldn't expect that to happen, yet it could happen. </p><p></p><p>In the meantime, go live your life so that you can be an example to your daughter of someone who is happy, peaceful and living life to the fullest. That in itself is a gift to her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 629218, member: 13542"] SSS, welcome. It's unfortunate that your daughter's mother felt the need to exclude you from your daughter's life and obviously that influenced your daughter's perceptions. Now at age 19, your daughter is an adult and she gets to choose what it is she wants now. Even if those choices are the result of negative perceptions based on her mothers judgements of you. At this point, it appears you've already done all you can do. If I were in your shoes, I might have dinner with my daughter and lay all the cards on the table. Tell her you love her, you had always wanted to have a relationship with her, but for [I]whatever reason[/I]s, it didn't work out as you had hoped. That you are always available to her, you will always be there for her, however, at this point, you are accepting that she doesn't feel as close to you as you would like and unless she has some serious objections to your next choice, you've decided to move to advance your career. I think at some point we need to be honest with ourselves and see the situation clearly. It is what it is. Sure you wanted it to be different, but it isn't. I don't believe it's a good idea to put pressure on your daughter to feel something that at this point she doesn't feel. Perhaps, if you tell her the truth as in how much you wanted to be a part of her life, how much you love her and that you're open to having a relationship on the terms she decides................and then let go and move forward in your own life................she will at some point feel free to make a different choice where you're concerned..........or not. But whatever she decides, it seems that it's prudent, timely and perhaps even necessary, for you to move forward in your own life now. Sometimes when we are able to let go of our own cemented viewpoints, it allows the other person the freedom to make a different choice. I wouldn't expect that to happen, yet it could happen. In the meantime, go live your life so that you can be an example to your daughter of someone who is happy, peaceful and living life to the fullest. That in itself is a gift to her. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
19 year old daughter has no interest in a relationship with her father
Top