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19 year old daughter has no interest in a relationship with her father
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 629242" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I think this is a very sad story that happens all too often. My son had a child when he was 19 too but she was only 2 and a half years older than him. She also wouldnt allow the baby to have his last name which is something that has ticked our entire family off for all these years. We do have a lot of contact with her though. In fact, she is mad her last name isnt the same as her father and baby sisters. She doesnt understand and I have a feeling she may change it when she gets older.</p><p></p><p>Now about your relationship with your daughter. My parents were married my entire childhood but my mother did her level best to turn me against my father. She told me horrible things about him so I wouldnt like him. It was bizarre. When I was 18 or 19 they finally divorced and I figured I was pretty much done with him. Well, time has a way of putting things into perspective. As a small child I had no idea of what my mom was doing but as an adult I could see him for myself and I actually liked him! I ended up having a much better relationship with my dad for more years of my life than I did those first 18 while my mother had control of me. In the end it was my mother who I had a much more difficult relationship with. My father ended up dying in 2010 and he was my everything. </p><p></p><p>I think you should have that conversation RE spoke about above. Tell her how much you have loved her all this time, tell her you are proud of her and how you know she will do wonderful things in the next few years but tell her you understand that she is torn. Tell her you have got this wonderful job opportunity and you have decided to take it. You will always be her daddy and if she wants to come visit for her to just say the word. Something like that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 629242, member: 1514"] I think this is a very sad story that happens all too often. My son had a child when he was 19 too but she was only 2 and a half years older than him. She also wouldnt allow the baby to have his last name which is something that has ticked our entire family off for all these years. We do have a lot of contact with her though. In fact, she is mad her last name isnt the same as her father and baby sisters. She doesnt understand and I have a feeling she may change it when she gets older. Now about your relationship with your daughter. My parents were married my entire childhood but my mother did her level best to turn me against my father. She told me horrible things about him so I wouldnt like him. It was bizarre. When I was 18 or 19 they finally divorced and I figured I was pretty much done with him. Well, time has a way of putting things into perspective. As a small child I had no idea of what my mom was doing but as an adult I could see him for myself and I actually liked him! I ended up having a much better relationship with my dad for more years of my life than I did those first 18 while my mother had control of me. In the end it was my mother who I had a much more difficult relationship with. My father ended up dying in 2010 and he was my everything. I think you should have that conversation RE spoke about above. Tell her how much you have loved her all this time, tell her you are proud of her and how you know she will do wonderful things in the next few years but tell her you understand that she is torn. Tell her you have got this wonderful job opportunity and you have decided to take it. You will always be her daddy and if she wants to come visit for her to just say the word. Something like that. [/QUOTE]
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