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19 year old daughter OUT OF CONTROL - stole $, IRS froze bank account
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 650593" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. I'm sorry for your trouble with your daughter. Please take a deep breath and calm down as you can't change what has already happened. All you can do is clear your head and think about the future. I can't tell you what to do, except I do think it's time you start taking care of yourself. You gave her nineteen years and she did not learn anything from you. I'm sure you did not teach her to steal. If she took your antidepressants, well, kids take wacky drugs. Maybe she doesn't know they don't get you high so she thinks she can get money on the street. I would, by what you have said, suspect she is using some sort of drug beyond just pot. I also think she might have a dangerous personality disorder known as antisocial personality disorder. These people are kind of born without a conscience (saw some good stuff on this...scientific studies and brain images on Investigative Discovery). They are dangerous people and even if they are our beloved children, in my opinion, usually best left alone. They will steal you blind for their gain, even if you are a mother, father, brother, best friend, doesn't matter. They are only interested in their own gain and do not feel guilty. I don't know if I'm right, but it's something to look up on the internet and read about because they usually do not think there is anything wrong with them and are quite happy being this way and do not change, but they do get bolder and pull all kinds of stuff, like what your daughter did to you. She wants something so she threw you under the bus.</p><p></p><p>I can not tell you what to do. There are many options. One is to keep thing as they are. I'm going to tell you only what I would do, if it were me, knowoing that you are NOT me. I do have a son who used to con and scam, but not me!!!! At any rate, he doesn't do it anymore, but he is darn lucky I didn't find out when he was actively doing it. He did steal from us by memorizing his father's credit card numbers. And I have a daughter who once took drugs, so I sort of recognize druggie behavior as well. Without further ado this is what I'd do because to me my home is my sanctuary and my castle and I don't feel I should have to be afraid of another adult in my own home.</p><p></p><p>I would press charges, but having typed that, I would probably not be able to do it without hesitating "She'll hate me forever." Well, she is already saying so and chances aer she does not realy understand love or boundaries anyway. I would pack her bags. I wouldn't have any qualms about that. You try to hurt me, no matter who you are, you can not live with me. Yes, we all made mistakes, but she really crossed the line by stealing from you like that. You can't settle anything without getting her out so you can clear your head. Once I made her leave, minding the tenant laws of my area, I'd changed my locks, credit cards, bank account #, anything she could possibly have a copy of. </p><p></p><p>You desperately need therapy too. You can't solve anything by hitting people, but you already know that. From now on, walk away, walk away, walk away. If it were me, I'd go low contact to no contact with this particular daughter. If you are paying for her phone or car or anything stop. She took money from you. Let her pay for things herself. If this were me,a nd I know you're not me, she'd be out. I feel she is dangerous to you.</p><p></p><p>It's time to start caring about yourself first. You raised her to adulthood and she keeps making poor choices. If it were me, I'd let her try things herself. What she did was vicious. My advice is to protect yourself against her and any further damage. This is not just a difficult kid. This one shows a total lack of feelings or regard for others and you are fair game.</p><p></p><p>Of course, this is just my opinion and what I would do. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry you had to join us, but I'm glad you did. Try to get the ball rolling on taking care of YOU from now on. Hugs for your hurting heart!!! Is there a dad somewhere who can take her off your hands? That's one solution. I'd still press charges.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 650593, member: 1550"] Hi there. I'm sorry for your trouble with your daughter. Please take a deep breath and calm down as you can't change what has already happened. All you can do is clear your head and think about the future. I can't tell you what to do, except I do think it's time you start taking care of yourself. You gave her nineteen years and she did not learn anything from you. I'm sure you did not teach her to steal. If she took your antidepressants, well, kids take wacky drugs. Maybe she doesn't know they don't get you high so she thinks she can get money on the street. I would, by what you have said, suspect she is using some sort of drug beyond just pot. I also think she might have a dangerous personality disorder known as antisocial personality disorder. These people are kind of born without a conscience (saw some good stuff on this...scientific studies and brain images on Investigative Discovery). They are dangerous people and even if they are our beloved children, in my opinion, usually best left alone. They will steal you blind for their gain, even if you are a mother, father, brother, best friend, doesn't matter. They are only interested in their own gain and do not feel guilty. I don't know if I'm right, but it's something to look up on the internet and read about because they usually do not think there is anything wrong with them and are quite happy being this way and do not change, but they do get bolder and pull all kinds of stuff, like what your daughter did to you. She wants something so she threw you under the bus. I can not tell you what to do. There are many options. One is to keep thing as they are. I'm going to tell you only what I would do, if it were me, knowoing that you are NOT me. I do have a son who used to con and scam, but not me!!!! At any rate, he doesn't do it anymore, but he is darn lucky I didn't find out when he was actively doing it. He did steal from us by memorizing his father's credit card numbers. And I have a daughter who once took drugs, so I sort of recognize druggie behavior as well. Without further ado this is what I'd do because to me my home is my sanctuary and my castle and I don't feel I should have to be afraid of another adult in my own home. I would press charges, but having typed that, I would probably not be able to do it without hesitating "She'll hate me forever." Well, she is already saying so and chances aer she does not realy understand love or boundaries anyway. I would pack her bags. I wouldn't have any qualms about that. You try to hurt me, no matter who you are, you can not live with me. Yes, we all made mistakes, but she really crossed the line by stealing from you like that. You can't settle anything without getting her out so you can clear your head. Once I made her leave, minding the tenant laws of my area, I'd changed my locks, credit cards, bank account #, anything she could possibly have a copy of. You desperately need therapy too. You can't solve anything by hitting people, but you already know that. From now on, walk away, walk away, walk away. If it were me, I'd go low contact to no contact with this particular daughter. If you are paying for her phone or car or anything stop. She took money from you. Let her pay for things herself. If this were me,a nd I know you're not me, she'd be out. I feel she is dangerous to you. It's time to start caring about yourself first. You raised her to adulthood and she keeps making poor choices. If it were me, I'd let her try things herself. What she did was vicious. My advice is to protect yourself against her and any further damage. This is not just a difficult kid. This one shows a total lack of feelings or regard for others and you are fair game. Of course, this is just my opinion and what I would do. I am sorry you had to join us, but I'm glad you did. Try to get the ball rolling on taking care of YOU from now on. Hugs for your hurting heart!!! Is there a dad somewhere who can take her off your hands? That's one solution. I'd still press charges. [/QUOTE]
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19 year old daughter OUT OF CONTROL - stole $, IRS froze bank account
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