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19 year old daughter OUT OF CONTROL - stole $, IRS froze bank account
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 650614" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>And this is the truth. As odd as it may seem, our difficult children don't want their situation to change. They want us to provide for them so they can continue to live life without responsibility. She WONT change it so you will have to and it will be difficult. We've had to kick our son out for stealing from us, lying to us, and doing drugs in the house.</p><p></p><p>I greatly value MWM's opinion. She is a very strong woman who has dealt with a lot of adversity in her life and came out the better for it. I personally believe that she is a bit quick to jump on the "they're doing serious drugs" band wagon. Having said that, from what you have said about your daughter, MWM is right. Your daughter is doing drugs and probably something more potent than just pot. She is also either stealing or dealing. No job yet she always seems to have spending money and comes home with a bunch of new cloths?? HUGE warning flag. </p><p></p><p>I don't know your full situation but based on what you have said here, you not only need to distance yourself from her, you need to get yourself help as well. Not even factoring in your admission of personal anger management issues, going through something like this by yourself is almost impossible. My wife and I have family to talk to if we need support or advice and many on here advocate for counseling or support groups. Pick one or multiple, whatever you feel most comfortable with but get help.</p><p></p><p>Just so you know, there are a couple of saying that float around this board on a regular basis and are good things to remember. First is "Not my circus, not my monkey" meaning that the problems and drama of our difficult children is just that, THEIRS! Just because you are the parent doesn't mean you're obligated to be in the middle of it. The other is "Take what you need and ignore the rest". Many of us have very similar circumstances, many of us don't. Even if your situation is almost identical to someone else's, you and your Difficult Child aren't the same people so may react differently. Take the advice that sounds good to you and ignore what doesn't, its that simple. Even if you don't want anyone's advice this is still a great place to come for support! Sucks that you have to be here but Welcome to our crazy little corner of the Internet!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 650614, member: 18238"] And this is the truth. As odd as it may seem, our difficult children don't want their situation to change. They want us to provide for them so they can continue to live life without responsibility. She WONT change it so you will have to and it will be difficult. We've had to kick our son out for stealing from us, lying to us, and doing drugs in the house. I greatly value MWM's opinion. She is a very strong woman who has dealt with a lot of adversity in her life and came out the better for it. I personally believe that she is a bit quick to jump on the "they're doing serious drugs" band wagon. Having said that, from what you have said about your daughter, MWM is right. Your daughter is doing drugs and probably something more potent than just pot. She is also either stealing or dealing. No job yet she always seems to have spending money and comes home with a bunch of new cloths?? HUGE warning flag. I don't know your full situation but based on what you have said here, you not only need to distance yourself from her, you need to get yourself help as well. Not even factoring in your admission of personal anger management issues, going through something like this by yourself is almost impossible. My wife and I have family to talk to if we need support or advice and many on here advocate for counseling or support groups. Pick one or multiple, whatever you feel most comfortable with but get help. Just so you know, there are a couple of saying that float around this board on a regular basis and are good things to remember. First is "Not my circus, not my monkey" meaning that the problems and drama of our difficult children is just that, THEIRS! Just because you are the parent doesn't mean you're obligated to be in the middle of it. The other is "Take what you need and ignore the rest". Many of us have very similar circumstances, many of us don't. Even if your situation is almost identical to someone else's, you and your Difficult Child aren't the same people so may react differently. Take the advice that sounds good to you and ignore what doesn't, its that simple. Even if you don't want anyone's advice this is still a great place to come for support! Sucks that you have to be here but Welcome to our crazy little corner of the Internet! [/QUOTE]
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19 year old daughter OUT OF CONTROL - stole $, IRS froze bank account
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