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19 year old daughter OUT OF CONTROL - stole $, IRS froze bank account
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 650616" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>There are also some of us, Cedar, who feel it is a kindness to put them out and make them face the world alone. When they are so dangerous we are afraid of them, I feel they need total shock and awe. Many survive quite well as they are able to con and swindle others they find along the path.</p><p></p><p>I had no trouble calling the cops on fifteen year old Princess and her pot. I felt I had to do something to try to stop her or to get help. It didn't work, but I was more concerned with her life and whether she even had a future (or would die) than if she had a police blight on her record. If you change and survive, you can get help getting a chance, even if you have a felony on your record. Once you're dead, that's the end of your chances at least in this world. I always felt it was more abusive to let things go. And both of my kids DID change somewhat. Princess, of course, is doing excellent and Bart only so-so, but I shudder to think of what Bart would have been like if he would have stolen from me and I'd let him. He knew I'd call the cops on him. I was never his victim. </p><p></p><p>It really isn't all that hard to take action when you are in danger or if you feel that being lenient is worse than going all out.</p><p></p><p>I am against paying rent for our trouble lovies. They could have stayed at home if they'd followed simple rules such as no drugs in the house, don't hit me, get a job. I feel that if they don't do it in our house, why will they do it in a rental house on our dime? I have yet to hear from any parent who tried it that it has worked. The usual theme is that the adult child has trashed the house, brought in questionable "roommates" and gotten tossed out for bad behavior or not changed their behavior at all.</p><p></p><p>Until we cut the strings, in my opinion most of our adult difficult kids have no chance at all. They depend on us to be suckers enough to fund them while they break the law, slack, use drugs, end up in jail etc. </p><p></p><p>So my advice, which is contrary to some others here, is not to rent her anything. She is conniving and will be very good at coudh surfing until her new "friends" find out what she's like and throw her out. Then she will find another victim. </p><p></p><p>I respect everyone's views here. Take what you like from us and leave the rest. We are all only offering our own opinion, including me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 650616, member: 1550"] There are also some of us, Cedar, who feel it is a kindness to put them out and make them face the world alone. When they are so dangerous we are afraid of them, I feel they need total shock and awe. Many survive quite well as they are able to con and swindle others they find along the path. I had no trouble calling the cops on fifteen year old Princess and her pot. I felt I had to do something to try to stop her or to get help. It didn't work, but I was more concerned with her life and whether she even had a future (or would die) than if she had a police blight on her record. If you change and survive, you can get help getting a chance, even if you have a felony on your record. Once you're dead, that's the end of your chances at least in this world. I always felt it was more abusive to let things go. And both of my kids DID change somewhat. Princess, of course, is doing excellent and Bart only so-so, but I shudder to think of what Bart would have been like if he would have stolen from me and I'd let him. He knew I'd call the cops on him. I was never his victim. It really isn't all that hard to take action when you are in danger or if you feel that being lenient is worse than going all out. I am against paying rent for our trouble lovies. They could have stayed at home if they'd followed simple rules such as no drugs in the house, don't hit me, get a job. I feel that if they don't do it in our house, why will they do it in a rental house on our dime? I have yet to hear from any parent who tried it that it has worked. The usual theme is that the adult child has trashed the house, brought in questionable "roommates" and gotten tossed out for bad behavior or not changed their behavior at all. Until we cut the strings, in my opinion most of our adult difficult kids have no chance at all. They depend on us to be suckers enough to fund them while they break the law, slack, use drugs, end up in jail etc. So my advice, which is contrary to some others here, is not to rent her anything. She is conniving and will be very good at coudh surfing until her new "friends" find out what she's like and throw her out. Then she will find another victim. I respect everyone's views here. Take what you like from us and leave the rest. We are all only offering our own opinion, including me. [/QUOTE]
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19 year old daughter OUT OF CONTROL - stole $, IRS froze bank account
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