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Substance Abuse
19yo son spiraling downward - pls help
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 664597" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi, you poor woman. So sad for you. I wake up early.</p><p></p><p>In my opinion, your son is taking more drugs than just pot because pot does not make one violent like that.</p><p></p><p>When my daughter used drugs, I went through her purse and her room and threw out anything that looked threatening and also found interesting letters to a strange boy whom she planned to run off with. My feelings were that it is my house and my right to see what is going on in my house. I also mostly wanted to see if what was going on with my daughter so I could maybe help her. She didn't let me and I had to make her leave. If she had pulled what your son pulled, out of fear for my safety, if nothing else, I would have called the police. Violence is unacceptable in my house. It is my castle; my sanctuary. My house/my rules. She was nineteen at the time.</p><p></p><p>Somehow, my daughter found a way to quit using drugs and eleven, maybe twelve years later now, she has it all together, but she has told me if I had let her stay at home she may still be using drugs.</p><p></p><p>Nobody has a right to act violent or destroy your property or have illegal drugs in your house. In fact, even if it IS legal, if your rule is no vapes, it's no vapes. I don't let anybody smoke in my house.</p><p></p><p>I have found that talking to a person using drugs does not yield good results or the truth. If you want, some of us present our adult children with a list of what they MUST do in order to live at home, rules stating what they must do and what is forbidden. Is he paying rent? Is he paying for his cell phone and car privileges? Do you give him money?</p><p></p><p>If there are younger children and a SO living with you, you have to take the welfare of those people into consideration too. If not, you still have to take somebody very important into account...yourself. You need to take care of you. You lost control. Forgive yourself. But getting worked up and acting up doesn't help you or him and you just feel horrible. Try to stay calm and just tell him, "This is unacceptable." Walk away and decide what you are going to do. Lock your door.</p><p></p><p>I suggest going to Al-Anon or a private therapist to help you learn how to cope, regardless of your decision.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart. Please be careful. If your son is acting dangerously and you feel he may hurt you, he simply should not in my opinion be in your home. Who knows what drugs he is taking? Not you. We always think it's "just pot." That isn't pot-like behavior and your house needs to be a safe place.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 664597, member: 1550"] Hi, you poor woman. So sad for you. I wake up early. In my opinion, your son is taking more drugs than just pot because pot does not make one violent like that. When my daughter used drugs, I went through her purse and her room and threw out anything that looked threatening and also found interesting letters to a strange boy whom she planned to run off with. My feelings were that it is my house and my right to see what is going on in my house. I also mostly wanted to see if what was going on with my daughter so I could maybe help her. She didn't let me and I had to make her leave. If she had pulled what your son pulled, out of fear for my safety, if nothing else, I would have called the police. Violence is unacceptable in my house. It is my castle; my sanctuary. My house/my rules. She was nineteen at the time. Somehow, my daughter found a way to quit using drugs and eleven, maybe twelve years later now, she has it all together, but she has told me if I had let her stay at home she may still be using drugs. Nobody has a right to act violent or destroy your property or have illegal drugs in your house. In fact, even if it IS legal, if your rule is no vapes, it's no vapes. I don't let anybody smoke in my house. I have found that talking to a person using drugs does not yield good results or the truth. If you want, some of us present our adult children with a list of what they MUST do in order to live at home, rules stating what they must do and what is forbidden. Is he paying rent? Is he paying for his cell phone and car privileges? Do you give him money? If there are younger children and a SO living with you, you have to take the welfare of those people into consideration too. If not, you still have to take somebody very important into account...yourself. You need to take care of you. You lost control. Forgive yourself. But getting worked up and acting up doesn't help you or him and you just feel horrible. Try to stay calm and just tell him, "This is unacceptable." Walk away and decide what you are going to do. Lock your door. I suggest going to Al-Anon or a private therapist to help you learn how to cope, regardless of your decision. Hugs for your hurting heart. Please be careful. If your son is acting dangerously and you feel he may hurt you, he simply should not in my opinion be in your home. Who knows what drugs he is taking? Not you. We always think it's "just pot." That isn't pot-like behavior and your house needs to be a safe place. [/QUOTE]
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19yo son spiraling downward - pls help
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