1st Day of Kindergarden

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Aug 18, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Yesterday was Evan's evaluation for kindergarden because regardless of my warnings, katie did NOT watch for kindergarden enrollment nor contact the school to find out when the evaluations were being done. husband took them to the evaluation. Katie emailed me the results, well....her version of the results. He flunked part of the vision test and they think he *might* be color blind. Maybe he is, maybe not, impossible to tell with a child who knows only 1 color which is yellow. She says they gave him an IEP for speech. Now the child really needs speech, he's nearly unable to be understood 90 percent of the time. But they don't give IEPs for speech, the child just goes to speech class, it's no big deal. Just like they don't give IEPs for reading issues, the child goes to a special reading teacher. So it could be they're going to give him one because the child knows nothing of what he needs to know to start kindergarden and katie doesn't want me to know that because I know his learning issues right now are as much due to her neglect to teach him anything as anything else. Or she's lying. With katie it's hard to tell.

    Today is his first day of kindergarden. It's taken weeks of Kayla working with him to get him excited enough to even consider getting on the bus. Evan has not ever been out of his parents presence since he was born except the few times husband or I watched him here. He's only been alone without his parents once with me watching him.

    I'm waiting on a phone call from the school.

    Evan doesn't know his alphabet song, doesn't know letters other than the ones that start his and his sibs names (E K and A), can't count, doesn't know his colors or shapes. He's never been diciplined to sit still and listen, or even to just sit still. He doesn't know how to follow rules or socialize with other children (other than his sibs). He can't be understood verbally to express his needs or anything else. I've been around him a year now and while I'm usually pretty good at that, I still can't understand the bulk of what he says most of the time. He can be so sweet, but on the other hand he can be viciously violent. (thank you dear ol dad) Time out will not work because no one as ever enforced it with him.

    I feel so sorry for the lil guy. It's not fair to him. This is going to be traumatic to some extent when it should be a happy memory. Due to his parent's neglect he's going to be so lost among his peers.

    I pity his teacher. He is my grandson and I love him, but really the teacher is going to have to have the utter patience of a saint, no joke. And unlike family, her methods of discipline are limited. He requires constant supervision and in my opinion one on one teaching to catch up to the other kids. He doesn't even have rudimentary skills. The child still can't dress himself. He can't drink out of a glass without pouring it everywhere.....and he's eating habits, well think of a toddler starting to feed themselves. Food goes everywhere.

    Do I think Evan is MRDD? Technically yes, he is and somewhat severely in certain areas. BUT he can learn, he's eager to learn given the right atmosphere / approach, tons of patience, repetition, if you can get him to sit still long enough which is not easy since he's literally been allowed to roam wild for 5 yrs. At this point though, I think it's from sheer neglect and being treated like an infant in nearly all areas of his life. He has never been taught anything. Know what I mean?? So while at this point he's technically mentally retarded and developmentally delayed, it's not in the true meaning.

    Does he need an IEP? Oh heck yeah. It's katie's trying to pass it off as the speech thing that irritates me. Heaven forbid she admit the child has been so utterly neglected it's just not funny.

    In many ways Evan functions at a lower level than grandson Brandon who is 2 yrs old. Brandon can dress himself, he knows his parents names, he knows more colors than Evan ect. Placing Evan in a kindergarden class is equal to sending Brandon to kindergarden and expecting him to function independently. Scary thought.

    So while he *might* have been excited to get on that bus this morning.......... He has to make it through an entire day in a strange place that actually has rules, interact with other children, surrounded by strangers who can't understand what he says, and he knows nothing about what is going on.

    I'm waiting on the phone call that Evan is out of control and please come get him as they can't reach his parents. (they never can reach katie or M they don't answer the phone)

    IF today goes somewhat ok..........Getting Evan back onto that bus might be WWIII tomorrow morning.

    And the school? They're going to take it that there is a "problem" with the child (like with Alex, and especially due to Alex) and not see the problem is truly with the parents.

    Keeps me at a low boil, I swear. I have my fingers crossed he has a smart teacher who keeps her eyes/ears open and makes some major calls to cps. Because if you pay close attention to Evan, that spark of wanting to learn is almost desperation to learn.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Poor baby. Do they have developmental kindergarten near you? It may be a better option for him but he'd need that IEP. (Up here, you must have an IEP to get speech services)
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Geez, I don't know how many times I have been the phone contact person because GFGmom arranged to be unavailable and "enjoy" her time free from the kids. It is so beyond pathetic. Sending hugs and best wishes that it goes better than expected.

    Although I am pessimistic about his school experience, I have known exceptions. Once in a blue moon an unprepared child just withdraws and observes. Twenty years ago I had a lovely your babysitter for easy child/difficult child for half days. She was sweet, attractive, kept an immaculate home, doted on her daughter and the kids she sat. I was totally dumbfounded however when her little girl went to K and was totally unable to adjust. She cried and cried for her Mommy. The school even let the Mom come join her for lunch and yet she still just sobbed and sobbed. It was her very first experience being separated. This beautiful and smart little girl was disenrolled and her Mom was told to get her into a play group for awhile and then transition her to a pre-K school part time so she could wean off her Mom's presence. It was one of the strangest things I've ever seen...and she was a easy child.

    I will be thinking of your grandson all day and sending good thoughts and prayers his way. Fingers crossed that he is quickly identified as a child in need and the school steps up to the plate pronto. Hugs. DDD
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    When Kiddo started K I was amazed at how many of her classmates didn't know much beyond the letters in their name. :(
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Lisa, J had an IEP for speech AND reading...

    I went to preschool, but skipped kinder. Honestly, you'd be shocked how many kids don't know their ABCs at that age.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Here you get an IEP for speech and reading, though reading has some other forms also.

    PLEASE call or email his teacher and let them know what you know about his home life. It may give them a way to HELP him that otherwise might take time to figure out.

    Do you have pre-k where you live? Here almost every child goes to pre-k for a full year before K. It is free, at the elem schools, not mandatory but recommended, and would be where they would move Evan to so that he got the most help.

    Does katie have you as an emergency contact? has she put your name down as one who could pick up the kids? if so, you can easily go to school and talk to the teacher about him and let her know what is going on and not to tell the parents or it will be worse on Evan. You also could do it for Alex as he is likely to have backslid completely from last year.

    It astounds me that Evan has never been away from his parents for even a day. Who does that? Seriously, who watns their kid tied to them every second? I guess if you are so terrified your abuse will be found out you do that, but I have never seen it.

    This may sound AWFUL, but why not start being "super nice' to katie and Mbecile and if Evan is home during the day when the others are in school, offer to take him so that they can have a "date day" to go walk in the park or whatever alone. It would give YOU a chance to teach Evan and get him away from them. I know the boys together are often too much, but this would be good for Evan. I include M in this because that is what is going to convince them to let you have him. It is just a thought.
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Susie, FWIW I know not far away from Lisa, where I am, pre-K is not free. In fact many districts are even limiting K.

  8. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    That poor little guy! That just makes me want to cry! I hope too that he gets a good, experienced, patient teacher who can see what the problem really is and can work with him. At this point, it would be very hard to tell exactly what his abilities really are, how much of his limitations he was born with and how much of it is from just being neglected and ignored and treated like a baby all his life. He got even more of a bum deal than his brother and sister did.

    In this day and age, there is just no excuse for this at all! Just plain lazy and uncaring. It's certainly no substitute for loving attention from a parent but there are WONDERFUL programs for children on TV now! Do they have cable TV? My two year old grandson watches Nick Jr. constantly and he's already learning all those colors and letters and numbers. They drive the adults up the wall but he's fascinated with those shows! His parents work with him a lot too and he has a lot of books and good educational toys but what he sees on TV reinforces it all for him. Does Evan have any books of his own? Have they ever taken the time to read to him? They could get books from the library and maybe Kayla could read to him every night. My kids picked up so much just by being read to and they insisted on the same favorite books over and over again. My son was a Sesame Street fanatic and watched it twice a day. He was read to since infancy and although I never specifically taught him to read or write, he could do both by the time he started kindergarten and I really think that a lot of it came from watching Sesame Street!

    His introduction to school may be rough for him but it's wonderful that he's so eager to learn. It just svcks that he's starting out with so many strikes against him but with the right teachers and with a lot of patience he could really blossom and surprise everybody!
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Poor little guy.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Just checking in to see if you have an update. Still have my fingers crossed. DDD
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    How sad! :crying: I'm pulling for him, though... I was one of those neglected children, but I pulled to the front of the class by the middle of first grade. Great teachers can get great results.
  12. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    They do have to have an IEP for speech.

    Hopefully, this will help him grow.
  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'll have to ask other parents with young kids with IEPs in district and see if the IEP is required for speech. It wasn't even just a few years ago, but things change and the state has come down on the SD hard. Not that it's helped evidently the district is still graded with an F. But I know that when mine were young if a child needed help with speech an IEP wasn't required for them to get the help.

    I've not heard from her yet and the school didn't call, so I'm hoping he had a good day. I'm about to mail her to ask.

    I got him a leapster that helps with all the things he should learn for kindergarden, as well as early reading. Katie says he's glued to it, carries it all over the house. I was hoping it would help both boys as Alex struggles so much with reading. Kayla has been using it to play school with him.

    And actually I should ease off on the Evan's never been away from his parents thing a little bit. Nichole never was either. I worked in the home and we took the kids everywhere we went so there was just never a need for a sitter. But this is also why she was placed into pre-school at the age of 3 and 4. I knew if I didn't, kindergarden would be horrible. And I tried like crazy to get katie to put him into the free headstart program, but she wouldn't go fill out the paperwork.
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Phew/Whew! Hugs. DDD
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Here we have so many free pre-schools and free pre-kindergarten programs there is no reason for any child that is having a problem to be left behind. If they are, its the parents fault. Not only do we have Head Start, we have pre-K in the public school but we also have a program run by early intervention for kids with even so much as a slight issue called Shining Stars and they advertise that they educate the whole child. They start school at 2 and graduate when they are ready to start K. Excellent program. That would be the program for Evan.
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet we have the same types of programs here as well. There is NO reason any child here should not be ready for kindergarden, except for parental neglect, period. They even provide transportation.

    And our school teaches accordingly. They start learning to read before xmas. The first few weeks are merely a review of what used to be considered kindergarden material, then it progresses on into much of what was first grade material. By xmas they are supposed to master writing numbers backward and forward to 100. After that they start math skills. I know this for sure because I watched Darrin a lot while he was in kindergarden and was amazed at how much they expected him to already know. For him it was fine, he'd attended 2 yrs of preschool.

    This is what worries me with Evan. I'm pretty sure he can learn it. He was doing ok with me on counting and colors the few times I've been able to work with him, it just didn't stick because katie won't keep it going. I'm just worried he's not going to pick up on it fast enough to keep anywhere near his peers. And I've watched her "helping" them with homework at home......trust me, at home he's basically scr*wed. She's not going to be reinforcing it there.

    Katie said he did ok, except he evidently threw a major tantrum to the point where his teacher had to hunt down Kayla's class to prove to him she was indeed in the same school just in a different room. She thought that was funny, me not so much. She said he made a friend to play with but it was a battle to get him back onto the bus this morning. But I figured that would be the case, this is a HUGE change for him.
  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lisa, I need you to PM me with your address. Billy has found some programs for younger kids that we both should want. I will get him to make copies and send them to you. I will also have him get them one about math for darrin and the older ones but right now, the reading one is what we both really need. Even Oliver can use it from birth. I will send you one DVD and you can have Travis make you copies.