Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
2 doctor appts today...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 26482" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>What did the psychologist say after you let it all out? I would love to know.</p><p></p><p>When there is a difficult child in the family it really does affect everyone. Our kids have a double whammy with my health and all the surrounding uncertainties. We wanted easy child to consider being a doctor but instead she chose occupational therapy. She said, "With my family, what other career path could I choose?" She's had to deal with my mobility issues as well as the other kids' hypermobile joints, plus the range of problems caused by the autism and the repetitive behaviours. But it also serves her in good stead - when dealing with difficult children we've had to learn to be lateral thinkers and to adapt. These are skills which are very useful in her work - she adapted a funny backscratcher I was given (which makes a noise as it is used) as a teaching tool in people learning to exercise arms and wrists after brain injury or carpal tunnel surgery. When the backscratcher made the right noise, the person was doing the exercise properly and getting a laugh at the same time.</p><p></p><p>Over here we have a really good support network for kids who help care for a disabled family member. The support includes regular get-togethers including camps (free to young carers) where they get to do fun stuff which they otherwise would miss out on. Lots of organisations happily donate time and services to these kids. On these camps they also do some counselling/discussion sessions where they debrief, and they come home with renewed energy, feeling less like damaged goods in dysfunctional families and more like the heroes they are. Instead of feeling embarrassed and ashamed of their families they have a better perspective and are equipped to cope much better.</p><p></p><p>If you haven't got this it still could be fairly easily put together, maybe via existing service clubs or carer organisations. Our one in Sydney started very small and grew. They had their 10 year reunion last year.</p><p></p><p>When a easy child sibling has a better sense of control over her environment she will be less stressed. One of the early behaviour experts, Skinner, discovered this when he experimented on rats with electric shocks. The rats which could control their shocks by pushing a lever did better than the rats in the next cage, getting the same shocks (including the reduced level from the controlling rat beside them). The rats without the control switch access had higher levels of stress-related illness because there was absolutely nothing they could do and this frustration is one more serious stress.</p><p></p><p>We tend to ignore our PCs especially when our difficult children are in crisis. And our PCs tend to not ask for help when they need it because they feel guilty at taking up our time when their sibling's needs are more obvious. Then PCs get resentful and even more guilty. A vicious circle. They need to know that these feelings are shared by other kids in the same situation ands they need tools to help them deal with this and cope.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 26482, member: 1991"] What did the psychologist say after you let it all out? I would love to know. When there is a difficult child in the family it really does affect everyone. Our kids have a double whammy with my health and all the surrounding uncertainties. We wanted easy child to consider being a doctor but instead she chose occupational therapy. She said, "With my family, what other career path could I choose?" She's had to deal with my mobility issues as well as the other kids' hypermobile joints, plus the range of problems caused by the autism and the repetitive behaviours. But it also serves her in good stead - when dealing with difficult children we've had to learn to be lateral thinkers and to adapt. These are skills which are very useful in her work - she adapted a funny backscratcher I was given (which makes a noise as it is used) as a teaching tool in people learning to exercise arms and wrists after brain injury or carpal tunnel surgery. When the backscratcher made the right noise, the person was doing the exercise properly and getting a laugh at the same time. Over here we have a really good support network for kids who help care for a disabled family member. The support includes regular get-togethers including camps (free to young carers) where they get to do fun stuff which they otherwise would miss out on. Lots of organisations happily donate time and services to these kids. On these camps they also do some counselling/discussion sessions where they debrief, and they come home with renewed energy, feeling less like damaged goods in dysfunctional families and more like the heroes they are. Instead of feeling embarrassed and ashamed of their families they have a better perspective and are equipped to cope much better. If you haven't got this it still could be fairly easily put together, maybe via existing service clubs or carer organisations. Our one in Sydney started very small and grew. They had their 10 year reunion last year. When a easy child sibling has a better sense of control over her environment she will be less stressed. One of the early behaviour experts, Skinner, discovered this when he experimented on rats with electric shocks. The rats which could control their shocks by pushing a lever did better than the rats in the next cage, getting the same shocks (including the reduced level from the controlling rat beside them). The rats without the control switch access had higher levels of stress-related illness because there was absolutely nothing they could do and this frustration is one more serious stress. We tend to ignore our PCs especially when our difficult children are in crisis. And our PCs tend to not ask for help when they need it because they feel guilty at taking up our time when their sibling's needs are more obvious. Then PCs get resentful and even more guilty. A vicious circle. They need to know that these feelings are shared by other kids in the same situation ands they need tools to help them deal with this and cope. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
2 doctor appts today...
Top