2 hour countdown.....

[JKF]

So we're about 2 hours away from going and picking up difficult child for Thanksgiving! I have the WORST anxiety this morning. I'm almost to the point of a full blown panic attack. I took a half of a xanax and I think it's taking the edge off but if not I will have to take the other half and risk being a space cadet.

I'm so nervous that something is going to happen today. difficult child called last night because his video game broke and he was thinking about running away. UGGGG! I called and spoke with him this morning and told him straight out what is expected of him today so we shall see!!

I've had nightmares all week about difficult child. One was particularly violent and I wound up with a gun shot in my back. I've been on edge ever since that dream. It was so real and so horrific and I'm just so burnt out now. I can't wait until today is OVER!

 

[buddy]

OH JFK, what an awful dream. Dont have to be Freud to figure that out, huh? I hope you can get thru this with some hope in the end. I have been thinking all night, is it really too much to ask for a full day here and there? You are probably with him now, so I am thinking of you..... Will be checking my phone on and off today since so many of us are in tricky situations for the weekend. you have my prayers and support. Love, Dee (buddy)

 

[JKF]

Thanks Dee!! I'm not with him yet. We are leaving in 30 minutes to go pick him up! I'm much calmer now (thanks to my magic pink pill! lol) and I hope the day goes smoothly. I tend to build up worst case scenario situations in my mind which then causes me to freak out. I think once we pick him up and get to my inlaws I will be ok. It's just the anticipation of what could happen that scares me!!!!

I hope you (and everyone else here) have a fantastic day today! I'm trying to get into the spirit and lose my "poor me" attitude and have a nice day too!! Thanks for the support!!! xoxoxo Jen

 

[Methuselah]

JKF, I will say a prayer for you. No one, whether a parent, child or stranger on the street, should ever be that fearful of another person's presence. I'm sorry he is that way towards you. Take deep breaths , keep others around you, and have a plan should he go off. You're in my prayers.

 

[JKF]

Ok....we made it through with no MAJOR catastrophes! difficult child kept complaining that he was bored/tired/hot etc etc but that's nothing new. He always complains about that no matter where he is! It's very annoying and drives me nuts but I bit my tongue and ignored his complaints. Also he and his younger brother got into a little argument but that ended up working itself out. The only big problem was that difficult child tried to steal little brother's video game. It was in the DS system and then it wasn't. After questioning him he was like oh yeah...here it is in my pocket. Hmmmm. I didn't make a big deal out of it because it would have turned into a major thing but the fact that he's still trying to steal makes me want to scream!

Anyway, he is now back at the PCR and we are now home relaxing! I think I'm gonna sleep like a big old brick tonight!!! lol

 

[buddy]

Yay Jen! glad he is back and safe and you did get some "family" time though it may not be the fantasy family time in the movies, sounds like for you it was pretty good, relatively speaking. I had about the same... pretty good, some small stuff and annoying things, but got him home and watching tv as a reward for a good car ride home (transitions are hard in our world). Kind of sad for me that I couldn't join in on games etc. Just on high alert the whole time but we visited lots and my family was really nice.

 

[JKF]

That's awesome buddy! So glad you had a nice day too! I was on high alert as well so it was very hard for me to relax and join in any games or festivities but it all worked out and we made it through the day! That's the important thing right? Getting through with no meltdowns or catastrophes! Now that it's over it's time to reward myself by relaxing for once! Hope you can do the same and enjoy a nice peaceful evening!

 

[buddy]

Thanks, I am doing just that. I am here checking in with all of you and he is actually lying down on the couch catching up on some sporting event...hockey I think.

He told me he is going to earn staying up late by being nice. He always says things like that and he really means it. Just has a hard time doing it some days.

Have a great time resting... isn't it funny how mental exhaustion is more intense than physical exhaustion... I just get so wiped.