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20 year old depressed & angry son
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 671005" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi GottaHaveFaith and welcome to the forum. We are glad you are here.</p><p></p><p>What IS IT with these young men in their 20s? My son acted much the same. He punched holes in our walls upstairs. I even learned how to repair them myself with patch kits from Home Depot. </p><p></p><p>He admitted he has/had an anger problem, plus depression and anxiety. My son isn't bipolar, but I think he does struggle with himself still, even though he has been on a much better path for the past 16 months.</p><p></p><p>So...what to do? If you can't get your son help, somehow, he is going to have to face some pretty serious consequences most likely (not trying to borrow trouble here). </p><p></p><p>Has he ever threatened suicide? In our state, it's illegal to threaten to kill yourself, and if a person does, you can all the police and they will be taken to the hospital and evaluated. One time (my son did it multiple times) they sent him to a hospital for five days of evaluation. That could be a path for your son if that is the case.</p><p></p><p>It's just so frustrating and terrifying when our kids are these types of things and because they are adults our hands are tied. They refuse the very thing that would help them deal with what they are feeling, and we have to sit by and watch them self-destruct.</p><p></p><p>Most of us here on this forum are in the same situation, or have been. My son is now 26 and he has moved forward, finally. </p><p></p><p>One time when he was in jail and I visited him there and was waiting to be called back to the visitation area. The policewoman staffing the front desk asked me: How old is your son? I said 22 (or 23). She said, Oh well, you have a few more years to go. I was puzzled and said: What do you mean? She said most of them straighten up about age 26 or 27 and get it figured out. At that time, I grasped on to anything and everything and I said, Really, you promise? With a kind of laugh, but I do think there is truth in that statement she made for many of these young men who go off the rails. Some still don't "straighten up" as they get into their later 20s but some do.</p><p></p><p>Clearly, you know that your son needs treatment. I would also consult with anybody who can give you some counsel here, like the local mental health department, a therapist and anybody else (like the police crisis team people) who can help guide you about possible next steps with him. Perhaps intervening with him can result in a positive impact.</p><p></p><p>We know that if he absolutely doesn't want to change and doesn't want help, all of our assistance in the world will amount to nothing. But your son admitted he is miserable. Maybe that is a step in the right direction.</p><p></p><p>In any event, we are here for YOU. Through it all. We know how hard this is. We will offer you ideas, support and encouragement. Comfort. A listening ear.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. We care. Hugs today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 671005, member: 17542"] Hi GottaHaveFaith and welcome to the forum. We are glad you are here. What IS IT with these young men in their 20s? My son acted much the same. He punched holes in our walls upstairs. I even learned how to repair them myself with patch kits from Home Depot. He admitted he has/had an anger problem, plus depression and anxiety. My son isn't bipolar, but I think he does struggle with himself still, even though he has been on a much better path for the past 16 months. So...what to do? If you can't get your son help, somehow, he is going to have to face some pretty serious consequences most likely (not trying to borrow trouble here). Has he ever threatened suicide? In our state, it's illegal to threaten to kill yourself, and if a person does, you can all the police and they will be taken to the hospital and evaluated. One time (my son did it multiple times) they sent him to a hospital for five days of evaluation. That could be a path for your son if that is the case. It's just so frustrating and terrifying when our kids are these types of things and because they are adults our hands are tied. They refuse the very thing that would help them deal with what they are feeling, and we have to sit by and watch them self-destruct. Most of us here on this forum are in the same situation, or have been. My son is now 26 and he has moved forward, finally. One time when he was in jail and I visited him there and was waiting to be called back to the visitation area. The policewoman staffing the front desk asked me: How old is your son? I said 22 (or 23). She said, Oh well, you have a few more years to go. I was puzzled and said: What do you mean? She said most of them straighten up about age 26 or 27 and get it figured out. At that time, I grasped on to anything and everything and I said, Really, you promise? With a kind of laugh, but I do think there is truth in that statement she made for many of these young men who go off the rails. Some still don't "straighten up" as they get into their later 20s but some do. Clearly, you know that your son needs treatment. I would also consult with anybody who can give you some counsel here, like the local mental health department, a therapist and anybody else (like the police crisis team people) who can help guide you about possible next steps with him. Perhaps intervening with him can result in a positive impact. We know that if he absolutely doesn't want to change and doesn't want help, all of our assistance in the world will amount to nothing. But your son admitted he is miserable. Maybe that is a step in the right direction. In any event, we are here for YOU. Through it all. We know how hard this is. We will offer you ideas, support and encouragement. Comfort. A listening ear. Keep posting. We care. Hugs today. [/QUOTE]
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