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20 year old son on the streets, heartbroken mom
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<blockquote data-quote="Night Owl Mama" data-source="post: 692828" data-attributes="member: 20490"><p>Thank you for your responses. I know so many have gone through this and it helps so much to read the threads here. Many seem written just for me! I spent way too much time reading last night actually and didn't go to bed until way too late lol but it was worth it. Lots of coffee needed this morning! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>I did read the detachment article and I am familiar with many of these concepts because of issues with other family members. My mother and my brother are both addicts and have been homeless many times, for years at a time. I have learned that very delicate line of loving without losing myself in their drama. I don't always succeed, especially when I see evidence that they are improving and my hopes get raised. My brother passed away last Sept at 32 years old from leukemia, but it was really his addiction and mental illness that took his life. He could not tolerate the treatment and hospital stays, refused medication that would have treated his paranoia. All he wanted was pain medications and benzodiazepines. It was so very sad. My son witnessed this firsthand, being that he didn't have a job he would sometimes hang out for the day at the hospital with his uncle and talk with him. His eyes were opened to what untreated mental illness looks like from the outside and he begged me to never let him be like that. And I tried, I really did. But it was out of my control. </p><p></p><p>My son was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety at 4, mood disorders at 7, bipolar not otherwise specified at 12, aspergers at 13, ADHD at 14. While I do know it affects him, I have seen him use it as an excuse. He has a network of support as a child who was in foster care if he would choose to access it. He was even approved at one point for housing! But he missed his appointment twice and lost it. He blamed that on having untreated ADHD (because he missed his doctor appointment!) He is double covered insurance wise, but it was just not a priority. I have seen him go after something he wants and there is no stopping him. Why he wouldn't want to be stable and mentally clear is beyond me. Even after getting kicked out and going to his doctor appointment the other day, he told my husband he hadn't got his rx filled because the pharmacy was closed. His appointment was in the morning and he had bus fare, so again, it wasn't a priority. They don't close until 6pm, he could have gotten it if he wanted. These are some of the consequences I want him to take responsibility for. Making poor choices re your mental health = behavior outbursts = loss of family relationships = homelessness!!! The remedy is simple! He has seen first hand other family members self sabotage but doesn't see himself doing the same thing. He is always the victim.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Night Owl Mama, post: 692828, member: 20490"] Thank you for your responses. I know so many have gone through this and it helps so much to read the threads here. Many seem written just for me! I spent way too much time reading last night actually and didn't go to bed until way too late lol but it was worth it. Lots of coffee needed this morning! :) I did read the detachment article and I am familiar with many of these concepts because of issues with other family members. My mother and my brother are both addicts and have been homeless many times, for years at a time. I have learned that very delicate line of loving without losing myself in their drama. I don't always succeed, especially when I see evidence that they are improving and my hopes get raised. My brother passed away last Sept at 32 years old from leukemia, but it was really his addiction and mental illness that took his life. He could not tolerate the treatment and hospital stays, refused medication that would have treated his paranoia. All he wanted was pain medications and benzodiazepines. It was so very sad. My son witnessed this firsthand, being that he didn't have a job he would sometimes hang out for the day at the hospital with his uncle and talk with him. His eyes were opened to what untreated mental illness looks like from the outside and he begged me to never let him be like that. And I tried, I really did. But it was out of my control. My son was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety at 4, mood disorders at 7, bipolar not otherwise specified at 12, aspergers at 13, ADHD at 14. While I do know it affects him, I have seen him use it as an excuse. He has a network of support as a child who was in foster care if he would choose to access it. He was even approved at one point for housing! But he missed his appointment twice and lost it. He blamed that on having untreated ADHD (because he missed his doctor appointment!) He is double covered insurance wise, but it was just not a priority. I have seen him go after something he wants and there is no stopping him. Why he wouldn't want to be stable and mentally clear is beyond me. Even after getting kicked out and going to his doctor appointment the other day, he told my husband he hadn't got his rx filled because the pharmacy was closed. His appointment was in the morning and he had bus fare, so again, it wasn't a priority. They don't close until 6pm, he could have gotten it if he wanted. These are some of the consequences I want him to take responsibility for. Making poor choices re your mental health = behavior outbursts = loss of family relationships = homelessness!!! The remedy is simple! He has seen first hand other family members self sabotage but doesn't see himself doing the same thing. He is always the victim. [/QUOTE]
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