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Parent Emeritus
20 year old son on the streets, heartbroken mom
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 692899" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree about telling your son about programs if he asks you for help. Mental health. Drug programs. Homeless shelters. Social Services. Food Stamps. SSI. Residential treatment. Job Corps. Even the military, although my son was ineligible due to a health issue.</p><p></p><p>Iinsisted my son go to Job Corps in 2008 when he was 19. I told him he could not come home until he completed a program. He picked the shortest one and did complete it. Really, I did not want to let him come home. </p><p></p><p>He hated Job Corps but I loved it. </p><p></p><p>What I want to get across is this: I was wrong to believe that the solutions were "out there" in a program, college, a job. Because he did all of these things. I forced him. And he undermined each one because they were not things he was either prepared to do, or wanted to do, or ready to do. </p><p></p><p>In the end I came to believe that by pushing him I may have made it harder, made it worse, not easier or better. I am not sure. </p><p></p><p>There is no solution outside of them: that they decide to change. Or not. </p><p></p><p>Well, actually, there is a solution in you. That you decide you are no longer responsible or able to do it for him. And stick to it. This is hard, hard work. I hope you stay here and post. It really helps.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 692899, member: 18958"] I agree about telling your son about programs if he asks you for help. Mental health. Drug programs. Homeless shelters. Social Services. Food Stamps. SSI. Residential treatment. Job Corps. Even the military, although my son was ineligible due to a health issue. Iinsisted my son go to Job Corps in 2008 when he was 19. I told him he could not come home until he completed a program. He picked the shortest one and did complete it. Really, I did not want to let him come home. He hated Job Corps but I loved it. What I want to get across is this: I was wrong to believe that the solutions were "out there" in a program, college, a job. Because he did all of these things. I forced him. And he undermined each one because they were not things he was either prepared to do, or wanted to do, or ready to do. In the end I came to believe that by pushing him I may have made it harder, made it worse, not easier or better. I am not sure. There is no solution outside of them: that they decide to change. Or not. Well, actually, there is a solution in you. That you decide you are no longer responsible or able to do it for him. And stick to it. This is hard, hard work. I hope you stay here and post. It really helps. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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20 year old son on the streets, heartbroken mom
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