Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
20 yo at home, no job
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Go slow mama" data-source="post: 703926"><p>Welcome to the forum.</p><p></p><p>First, I want to say that I identify with you. My son is 17 but very similar to what you describe, anxiety and executive functioning disorder, depression, insomnia. He smokes weed daily and lacks motivation and has no long term goals. He has stolen from me, he does not contribute in the home, he can be very rude.</p><p></p><p>I applaud you for considering both sides of the coin. Tough love and boundaries are hard, very hard and not just because they force us to take a one direction stand, but because these are our children. The theft is very hard to bear and you should surely respond. But I really problematize the all or nothing approach of turning them out when they do not conform, behave or meet our expectations. This is not a physics equation here. There is no way of knowing the outcome of your ultimatum. It might indeed make things worse for him, and for you.</p><p></p><p>We all have to live within our own complex relationships and make our own decisions that we can live with. Yes, he is an adult, but a young one still.</p><p></p><p>I guess I would ask you, supportively, if you evict him because he does not meet your terms, what results do you expect? What can you live with as a consequence?</p><p></p><p>I wish you courage, love and conviction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Go slow mama, post: 703926"] Welcome to the forum. First, I want to say that I identify with you. My son is 17 but very similar to what you describe, anxiety and executive functioning disorder, depression, insomnia. He smokes weed daily and lacks motivation and has no long term goals. He has stolen from me, he does not contribute in the home, he can be very rude. I applaud you for considering both sides of the coin. Tough love and boundaries are hard, very hard and not just because they force us to take a one direction stand, but because these are our children. The theft is very hard to bear and you should surely respond. But I really problematize the all or nothing approach of turning them out when they do not conform, behave or meet our expectations. This is not a physics equation here. There is no way of knowing the outcome of your ultimatum. It might indeed make things worse for him, and for you. We all have to live within our own complex relationships and make our own decisions that we can live with. Yes, he is an adult, but a young one still. I guess I would ask you, supportively, if you evict him because he does not meet your terms, what results do you expect? What can you live with as a consequence? I wish you courage, love and conviction. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
20 yo at home, no job
Top