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Parent Emeritus
20 yo at home, no job
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<blockquote data-quote="Go slow mama" data-source="post: 703932"><p>I understand your dilemma. I also live with it.</p><p></p><p>Personally, I choose not to subscribe to theories or models insofar as my parenting and decisions therein. Yes, theories and models are useful for lots, detachment theory offers me some perspective and some tools. But I do not believe anyone or any situation is black and white, that we <em>should do this or that.</em> Of course there are some extremes that might require us to do this or that, but our jobs as parents is more complicated than that. We are here to guide our kids at this stage, they are not little, we cannot make them do anything. In turn, I understand that if I choose to kick my son out of our home, this will not <em>make him smarten up.</em> Sometimes it is not that simple. I also understand that sometimes these bottom lines are helpful, for us, as parents and people.</p><p></p><p>Taking the time to be thoughtful and posting here for support shows that you are a caring and loving parent. We are all doing our best, we all have our own paths and we are all unique. You have reason to be concerned and it is good that you are sharing your story and asking for input, it takes guts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Go slow mama, post: 703932"] I understand your dilemma. I also live with it. Personally, I choose not to subscribe to theories or models insofar as my parenting and decisions therein. Yes, theories and models are useful for lots, detachment theory offers me some perspective and some tools. But I do not believe anyone or any situation is black and white, that we [I]should do this or that.[/I] Of course there are some extremes that might require us to do this or that, but our jobs as parents is more complicated than that. We are here to guide our kids at this stage, they are not little, we cannot make them do anything. In turn, I understand that if I choose to kick my son out of our home, this will not [I]make him smarten up.[/I] Sometimes it is not that simple. I also understand that sometimes these bottom lines are helpful, for us, as parents and people. Taking the time to be thoughtful and posting here for support shows that you are a caring and loving parent. We are all doing our best, we all have our own paths and we are all unique. You have reason to be concerned and it is good that you are sharing your story and asking for input, it takes guts. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
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