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Substance Abuse
20 yr.old pothead...angry husband...2 seperate issues
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 630606" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Oh dear this rang so true to me. I find myself in tears sometimes, thinking about my sweet boy. Of course, he wasn't always sweet, but he snuggled and kissed and loved me. My husband, when days are bad, reassures me that my boy still loves me...but I know he doesn't love me the way I loved my parents...still do to this day though they've been gone for nearly three decades....and that hurts.</p><p> </p><p>I hope things get better for you. The conflict in my home is not nearly as severe as yours. I married my husband when my son was 5 and he adopted him at 7. He's our only child. But I think in many ways I also have babied him and continue to do so. Just last night, my husband and I had salad for dinner and my son comes home and I then cooked his dinner. Now, in my defense it was just some noodles with chicken, and I was going to make it anyway for our lunches today, but I was going to wait until the movie I was watching was over. But instead, I paused it and cooked when he wanted it. Even if it only took 15 minutes, I should have told him to do it himself. I never thought that it would be a big deal...doing things like that. He'd forget to bring a bowl out of his room and I'd go in there to say something and take it out myself instead of making him follow the rules. Little things like that. My husband would have made him get up and do it on the spot. </p><p> </p><p>My husband and son do clash and I always seem to the peacemaker. Husband is much more authoritative than I am - ex marine, ex prison guard...used to dealing with strict orders. I lived by "say yes whenever possible and say no whenever necessary" and I think I was too soft. He was 5 minutes late for curfew? Not a big deal. He ran through his allowance? What's another $10? He left his dishes in the sink? Well, so do we now and then. He didn't like mowing the lawn? Well, I could use the exercise. </p><p> </p><p>I wish I could roll the clock back 14 years and do it all again. I would still have married my husband...but I'd have done so many things differently. </p><p> </p><p>But I can't. Neither can you. In my opinion, you're right to look forward and work on your marriage. Both of you. Sounds like your husband needs to be doing work too. Your son was always going to move out eventually, but hopefully your marriage will last forever. You deserve for it to be a happy one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 630606, member: 17309"] Oh dear this rang so true to me. I find myself in tears sometimes, thinking about my sweet boy. Of course, he wasn't always sweet, but he snuggled and kissed and loved me. My husband, when days are bad, reassures me that my boy still loves me...but I know he doesn't love me the way I loved my parents...still do to this day though they've been gone for nearly three decades....and that hurts. I hope things get better for you. The conflict in my home is not nearly as severe as yours. I married my husband when my son was 5 and he adopted him at 7. He's our only child. But I think in many ways I also have babied him and continue to do so. Just last night, my husband and I had salad for dinner and my son comes home and I then cooked his dinner. Now, in my defense it was just some noodles with chicken, and I was going to make it anyway for our lunches today, but I was going to wait until the movie I was watching was over. But instead, I paused it and cooked when he wanted it. Even if it only took 15 minutes, I should have told him to do it himself. I never thought that it would be a big deal...doing things like that. He'd forget to bring a bowl out of his room and I'd go in there to say something and take it out myself instead of making him follow the rules. Little things like that. My husband would have made him get up and do it on the spot. My husband and son do clash and I always seem to the peacemaker. Husband is much more authoritative than I am - ex marine, ex prison guard...used to dealing with strict orders. I lived by "say yes whenever possible and say no whenever necessary" and I think I was too soft. He was 5 minutes late for curfew? Not a big deal. He ran through his allowance? What's another $10? He left his dishes in the sink? Well, so do we now and then. He didn't like mowing the lawn? Well, I could use the exercise. I wish I could roll the clock back 14 years and do it all again. I would still have married my husband...but I'd have done so many things differently. But I can't. Neither can you. In my opinion, you're right to look forward and work on your marriage. Both of you. Sounds like your husband needs to be doing work too. Your son was always going to move out eventually, but hopefully your marriage will last forever. You deserve for it to be a happy one. [/QUOTE]
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20 yr.old pothead...angry husband...2 seperate issues
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