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Substance Abuse
20 yr old son from divorced home with substance abuse and anxiety
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<blockquote data-quote="johnz" data-source="post: 649623" data-attributes="member: 18814"><p>Hi, I'm so very new to this and need some serious help and/or advice.</p><p>The short version..... my wife and I divorced when my son was 3-4 yrs old and my daughter was 1. She moved out of state and took the kids with her, not by my choice. I would visit them atleast two times a year for 5 years until the ex decided to keep them from me for unknown reasons. Everytime I planned a visit she would agree with it then last minute change her mind and would tell me they were not going to be in town. This went on and on for years and many court battles which I could not afford any longer. She comes from money and I do not. Despite me not seeing them I always called every week and talked to them and obviously sent them gifts and such for birthdays and holidays.</p><p>I have not seen my two kids in over 10 years and they stopped talking with me in the last 2 yrs. He is 20 and she is 18. I still call several times a week and send them the usual gifts every year. I have never once said anything bad about their mother and have always had encouraging phone conversations about school, college etc etc. My ex also would only contact me via text. She would never answer the phone or always tell me that she tells the kids to call me. The other bad thing is I am unable to travel due to some medical conditions.</p><p>Here's the latest.... in the last few months the ex has called and said my son was arrested on some traffic warrants and poss of marijuana. He spent the night in jail and I found out more info that he was living out of his car and staying at random friends houses until he would get kicked out. And sometimes the homeless shelter. I was immediately upset about the situation and had no idea this was happening. The ex said she was at her wits end with him coming home at all hours of the night, disrupting her and our daughter. She would also pay for his impound and other jail fees. In less than a week he was pulled over for a traffic violation and was arrested for having some pills on him. Back to jail he went. I tried contacting the prosecutor and public defender for possible mandatory mental health evaluations since he was also having some anxiety and depression issues. He spent a week in jail and was released as time served.</p><p>He showed up at the ex's house after release and I finally got to talk to him. He was upset and crying and was hard to understand what he was saying. I offered him a new start in a diff state with me, with a job and use of a vehicle. I don't know what to do or say to him to get him to come live with me and get out of his current situation. I understand that he will have the same problems as there but I'm hoping it will make some sort of difference living with me. I assured him that he will have to work, contribute to the household and I would help him get help with his anxiety.</p><p>I would appreciate any advice or input......this is killing me!</p><p>Thank you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="johnz, post: 649623, member: 18814"] Hi, I'm so very new to this and need some serious help and/or advice. The short version..... my wife and I divorced when my son was 3-4 yrs old and my daughter was 1. She moved out of state and took the kids with her, not by my choice. I would visit them atleast two times a year for 5 years until the ex decided to keep them from me for unknown reasons. Everytime I planned a visit she would agree with it then last minute change her mind and would tell me they were not going to be in town. This went on and on for years and many court battles which I could not afford any longer. She comes from money and I do not. Despite me not seeing them I always called every week and talked to them and obviously sent them gifts and such for birthdays and holidays. I have not seen my two kids in over 10 years and they stopped talking with me in the last 2 yrs. He is 20 and she is 18. I still call several times a week and send them the usual gifts every year. I have never once said anything bad about their mother and have always had encouraging phone conversations about school, college etc etc. My ex also would only contact me via text. She would never answer the phone or always tell me that she tells the kids to call me. The other bad thing is I am unable to travel due to some medical conditions. Here's the latest.... in the last few months the ex has called and said my son was arrested on some traffic warrants and poss of marijuana. He spent the night in jail and I found out more info that he was living out of his car and staying at random friends houses until he would get kicked out. And sometimes the homeless shelter. I was immediately upset about the situation and had no idea this was happening. The ex said she was at her wits end with him coming home at all hours of the night, disrupting her and our daughter. She would also pay for his impound and other jail fees. In less than a week he was pulled over for a traffic violation and was arrested for having some pills on him. Back to jail he went. I tried contacting the prosecutor and public defender for possible mandatory mental health evaluations since he was also having some anxiety and depression issues. He spent a week in jail and was released as time served. He showed up at the ex's house after release and I finally got to talk to him. He was upset and crying and was hard to understand what he was saying. I offered him a new start in a diff state with me, with a job and use of a vehicle. I don't know what to do or say to him to get him to come live with me and get out of his current situation. I understand that he will have the same problems as there but I'm hoping it will make some sort of difference living with me. I assured him that he will have to work, contribute to the household and I would help him get help with his anxiety. I would appreciate any advice or input......this is killing me! Thank you! [/QUOTE]
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20 yr old son from divorced home with substance abuse and anxiety
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