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20 yr old son making death threats
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<blockquote data-quote="YogiLori" data-source="post: 762976" data-attributes="member: 30044"><p>Hi Poola,</p><p>I'm so sorry you are going through this. When you write, it sounds exactly like our 19 year old son. He has not said these words lately, but at one point when he was in the ER, he told the nurse he was going to stab my husband and I with the kitchen knives. It is his distorted anger and his immaturity and of course the marijuana.......Once he was released from the mental health hospital he had no place to go and he was still our responsibility at 18 (our state is 19) so we had no other choice but to let him come home. We told the police of the threats and they said to call them if something happens. It was a completely helpless situation and sad situation. I do think you must stop enabling him as hard as it is. I am the Queen Enabler and I have been religiously attending NarAnon and seeking therapy and working on myself. Since May we had to ask our son to leave because we could not handle it anymore and he was a month away from 19. We have a Ring and he has no keys. We ensure the doors are locked and the garage down. We are not in the same place as we were. Since he moved out our relationship is adequate. We don't do for him what he can do himself. We had to literally let go. I remember the night he came home from the mental hospital and there was nowhere he could go, we hid the knives and literally said, "well, if he kills us he kills us." I know that is probably wrong but we really didn't have any other choice. As I said, that time passed. You do need support and I TOTALLY understand how hard it is to say no and deal with their threats and reactions. It is scary and exhausting. You have to do the things that will help you feel safe physically and get emotional support on the daily from someone or some group - a therapist, domestic violence program, even NarAnon......You are not alone so please reach out and get the support you need.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="YogiLori, post: 762976, member: 30044"] Hi Poola, I'm so sorry you are going through this. When you write, it sounds exactly like our 19 year old son. He has not said these words lately, but at one point when he was in the ER, he told the nurse he was going to stab my husband and I with the kitchen knives. It is his distorted anger and his immaturity and of course the marijuana.......Once he was released from the mental health hospital he had no place to go and he was still our responsibility at 18 (our state is 19) so we had no other choice but to let him come home. We told the police of the threats and they said to call them if something happens. It was a completely helpless situation and sad situation. I do think you must stop enabling him as hard as it is. I am the Queen Enabler and I have been religiously attending NarAnon and seeking therapy and working on myself. Since May we had to ask our son to leave because we could not handle it anymore and he was a month away from 19. We have a Ring and he has no keys. We ensure the doors are locked and the garage down. We are not in the same place as we were. Since he moved out our relationship is adequate. We don't do for him what he can do himself. We had to literally let go. I remember the night he came home from the mental hospital and there was nowhere he could go, we hid the knives and literally said, "well, if he kills us he kills us." I know that is probably wrong but we really didn't have any other choice. As I said, that time passed. You do need support and I TOTALLY understand how hard it is to say no and deal with their threats and reactions. It is scary and exhausting. You have to do the things that will help you feel safe physically and get emotional support on the daily from someone or some group - a therapist, domestic violence program, even NarAnon......You are not alone so please reach out and get the support you need. [/QUOTE]
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