Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
20 yr old son returned home. Just when I thought things were improving
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 658415" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, I'll chime in.</p><p></p><p>Your son, like so many adult kids here, is coddled and given too much and is lazy. this is the typical adult child on thisl forum. He wasn't angry at you while he was at college because he got the money flowing in. But, dang, you cut off his money...and, worse, told him...to....get...a JOB! If he were mykid, he'd be working or finding another place to live if he has the gall to yell and scream horrible things at you. That is, quite simply, abuse. Violent abuse. Nobody has the right to talk to you that way, even if they are "emotionally fragile." That is not an excuse.</p><p></p><p>Do you know if your son is using drugs or alcohol? Staying in bed all day can be a sign of that. It can also cause depression or make depression worse. Is he going for help? Trying to get better? Seeing a therapist? Why not? That could be a condition of living under your roof. He is too old for you to make it all better. HE has to be the one to heal himself at his age. And that's what he should be doing.</p><p></p><p>I agree with cutting off all money. He is able bodied. People his age are working full time, in the military, and going to college WITHOUT parental funding. He's not a child and he's not an invalid. I have suffered depression most of my life and it doesn't make you mean, lazy or unable to tend to your own health care needs. Do you pay for his cell phone? His car insurance? His car? His clothes? I think at his age he should be a major contributor to all of that.</p><p>How are his grades doing? Is he going toa ll of his classes?</p><p></p><p>On this forum, most of us either learn or already know that we can only control one person in the world...ourselves. Although you can't change your son one bit, you CAN change the rules you give him regarding his life, your house, what he has to do in order to live under YOUR roof in YOUR castle and how much money you will contribute to his college days. You can call the police if he gets out of control, looks like he may assault you, if he breaks anything or if he is just scary to be around.</p><p></p><p>Many of us have had to do all of those things. It is a choice we all have to make because we can not change our adult children's choices. Many of us choose to live our lives peacefully. It took many of us a long time to get there and some a short time.</p><p></p><p>Sounds very unpleasant at your place right now. I am very sorry he hurt you. That was his intention. He wants something from you and is willing to fight dirty to get you to cave in. Do you know what he wants? Is it money and n o demand that he work? That is a common reason why our Difficult Child go on a rampage on us. It is best NOT to give in. He shouted nonsense at you. You know you are not a horrible person. Any other kids at home who heard his tantrum? (It WAS a tantrum).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 658415, member: 1550"] Well, I'll chime in. Your son, like so many adult kids here, is coddled and given too much and is lazy. this is the typical adult child on thisl forum. He wasn't angry at you while he was at college because he got the money flowing in. But, dang, you cut off his money...and, worse, told him...to....get...a JOB! If he were mykid, he'd be working or finding another place to live if he has the gall to yell and scream horrible things at you. That is, quite simply, abuse. Violent abuse. Nobody has the right to talk to you that way, even if they are "emotionally fragile." That is not an excuse. Do you know if your son is using drugs or alcohol? Staying in bed all day can be a sign of that. It can also cause depression or make depression worse. Is he going for help? Trying to get better? Seeing a therapist? Why not? That could be a condition of living under your roof. He is too old for you to make it all better. HE has to be the one to heal himself at his age. And that's what he should be doing. I agree with cutting off all money. He is able bodied. People his age are working full time, in the military, and going to college WITHOUT parental funding. He's not a child and he's not an invalid. I have suffered depression most of my life and it doesn't make you mean, lazy or unable to tend to your own health care needs. Do you pay for his cell phone? His car insurance? His car? His clothes? I think at his age he should be a major contributor to all of that. How are his grades doing? Is he going toa ll of his classes? On this forum, most of us either learn or already know that we can only control one person in the world...ourselves. Although you can't change your son one bit, you CAN change the rules you give him regarding his life, your house, what he has to do in order to live under YOUR roof in YOUR castle and how much money you will contribute to his college days. You can call the police if he gets out of control, looks like he may assault you, if he breaks anything or if he is just scary to be around. Many of us have had to do all of those things. It is a choice we all have to make because we can not change our adult children's choices. Many of us choose to live our lives peacefully. It took many of us a long time to get there and some a short time. Sounds very unpleasant at your place right now. I am very sorry he hurt you. That was his intention. He wants something from you and is willing to fight dirty to get you to cave in. Do you know what he wants? Is it money and n o demand that he work? That is a common reason why our Difficult Child go on a rampage on us. It is best NOT to give in. He shouted nonsense at you. You know you are not a horrible person. Any other kids at home who heard his tantrum? (It WAS a tantrum). [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
20 yr old son returned home. Just when I thought things were improving
Top