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21 year old son in and out of house
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 632838" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Young Mama, I don't really remember my ah ha moment. I do remember finding the site, and that my first post here was about how I had finally gotten some calm when I decided that if my difficult child dies on the street that my solution would be to kill myself. I still remember how logical and easy that seemed at the time. MWM, dammitjanet kicked my butt a bit over that...Cedar and RE came along, and all added comfort and support. Child started soon after me, then Seeking and Lucy...all feel like friends now, known to me, good to talk to, sometimes predictable, always generous. </p><p></p><p>Something about the repetition of the stories, the safety of knowing there were people to listen to whatever I had to say, even the awful stuff, and some of the worsd sof wisdom, which I sometimes printed and kept by my computer...they got me over some edge that I have never fallen back from. I finally understood, through the forum, that if difficult child could be saved by me it would have happened already, because I had tried everything. That no matter what I had done wrong, and there was plenty, I didn't cause his crazy, and I couldn't undo it. I finally got in my gut that my efforts were toxic to me and useless, completely utterly useless, to him in the long wrong...because he needs to learn to be a man, not a child, not a pet, not a patient. And that as long as he flatly refuses that opportunity...my role as a parent is over. </p><p></p><p>So many good quotes, so many shared experiences, so much support. Lesson learned, but wounds not healed. My aha moment happened late last fall. I hope yours was yestarday.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 632838, member: 17269"] Young Mama, I don't really remember my ah ha moment. I do remember finding the site, and that my first post here was about how I had finally gotten some calm when I decided that if my difficult child dies on the street that my solution would be to kill myself. I still remember how logical and easy that seemed at the time. MWM, dammitjanet kicked my butt a bit over that...Cedar and RE came along, and all added comfort and support. Child started soon after me, then Seeking and Lucy...all feel like friends now, known to me, good to talk to, sometimes predictable, always generous. Something about the repetition of the stories, the safety of knowing there were people to listen to whatever I had to say, even the awful stuff, and some of the worsd sof wisdom, which I sometimes printed and kept by my computer...they got me over some edge that I have never fallen back from. I finally understood, through the forum, that if difficult child could be saved by me it would have happened already, because I had tried everything. That no matter what I had done wrong, and there was plenty, I didn't cause his crazy, and I couldn't undo it. I finally got in my gut that my efforts were toxic to me and useless, completely utterly useless, to him in the long wrong...because he needs to learn to be a man, not a child, not a pet, not a patient. And that as long as he flatly refuses that opportunity...my role as a parent is over. So many good quotes, so many shared experiences, so much support. Lesson learned, but wounds not healed. My aha moment happened late last fall. I hope yours was yestarday. Echo [/QUOTE]
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21 year old son in and out of house
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