21 yo son out of control

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by peegee2012, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. peegee2012

    peegee2012 New Member

    I am divorced mother , the father kicked him out and hes been in and out of jail since 18.He's a compulsive lier, He is suppose to be on medication but is not, he smokes weed gets drunk and pulled a knife out on his brother at his own house, then again today at my house as if trying to stab him. He dont listen to me, His father dont want him, nobody wants him and I dont feel right kickign him out, because he is unable to find a job due to warrants he has and he cant pass a drug test and hes not very smart at all, I dont want him ending up dead if I kick him out. he is a wanna be gang banger kind of guy and listens to rap music even singing it, he stays home all day and night and makes me clean and cook when i get off work I dont know what to do any help or advice is greatly appreciated. He his his girlfriend and they fight all the time.,

    Hes really helpless like a teenager mentality I dont know what to do. He really gives me a big time guilt trip when I try to tell him anything.
  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi peegee and welcome to the CD board!

    Many of us have dealt with your situation. I think you are going to get the same advice from many of us. If your son is 21 and threatening other members of the family, it is time to make him leave your home. Unfortunately, that may be more difficult than you think. The state I live in says that you have to go through the eviction process to make someone leave that has been living in your house for more than thirty days. You should check the statues where you live.

    Could you give us more background about your son? Has he finished high school? Has he ever held a job?

    It would also help if you added a signature to help us remember you and your situation. You can do that by going to the settings icon at the top right hand side of the page and then click on edit signature under my profile on the left side of the page.

    Others will be by to welcome you and give you more advice. You have come to the right place for strength and support!

  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome peegee. I read your post earlier and wanted to reply but was afraid I would sound harsh, but here goes. You do not deserve to be treated this way. He has made poor decisions and lived his life in a way that has serious consequences. He is an adult now and it's up to him to figure out how to straighten out his life. He is violent and you are living in fear. That is not ok and it's not right that your other son should have to live this way.

    As Kathy asked, please give us more information on your son so we have a better idea of what is going on, but from the sounds of it you need to protect yourself and your other son.

  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi there peegee! is your son cognitively delayed? i wonder if there is a way to get any services with him that will help with the warrant issue. You could call teh county developmental disabilities office and ask them if they can help because you have a son who is delayed and so is getting in trouble because he is vulnerable to influences he can not fully understand. ???? it is just a thought. I dont know if that would lead to his being in trouble but the warrants are probably going to catch up to him anyway. He is easy prey for a gang if he has problems with thinking and is delayed that way. He really needs to be in a residential placement for his and your protection. (and your other family members) Do not let him guilt trip you.... you are setting the bar for him and if you expect him to grow up and make progress, you will have to make some hard decisions.

    hugs and care to you.... Buddy