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22 year-old-daughter stopped speaking to parents
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 721243" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Olive,</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for what you are going through. From what you have shared you sound like very loving and supportive parents.</p><p></p><p>It's always hard to understand why our adult children suddenly change their behavior. Your daughter coming to the realization that she is gay I'm sure is part of it. Perhaps she expected you to respond in a non supportive way and built up a wall to protect herself. Perhaps she doesn't believe that you accept her lifestyle choice, again building up a wall to protect herself. Perhaps her girlfriend has told her not to trust you in being supportive. </p><p>Regardless of her lifestyle choice, a girlfriend or boyfriend can have an enormous influence over someone. The new girlfriend may be manipulating and controlling your daughter. The fact that she would not tell your husband where daughter is living makes me wonder if she is trying to isolate your daughter. </p><p></p><p>It's good that you have cut off financial support especially if she is not going to school and spending money on booze. There may also be other drugs involved.</p><p></p><p>The only thing I can offer is to give your daughter space. Reach out to her once a week or maybe ever other week. Let her know you are thinking about her and that you love her. Ask her when a good time would be for you to get together for coffee or lunch and invite the girlfriend. </p><p>If she doesn't respond or says "quit calling me" I would reply with something like "honey, I love you and just want to know that you are ok. I don't mean to bother you but I miss you. I will respect your wishes and hope that you will reach out to me sometime"</p><p>One thing I've learned is when our adult difficult children get into a bind they usually will call mommy and daddy in hopes that we will help them.</p><p>I have also learned that no matter how much we love our kids there comes a time when they are going to live the life they want and we have no control over that.</p><p></p><p>I know this is hard. I'm glad you found us here, you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you.....................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 721243, member: 18516"] Hi Olive, I'm sorry for what you are going through. From what you have shared you sound like very loving and supportive parents. It's always hard to understand why our adult children suddenly change their behavior. Your daughter coming to the realization that she is gay I'm sure is part of it. Perhaps she expected you to respond in a non supportive way and built up a wall to protect herself. Perhaps she doesn't believe that you accept her lifestyle choice, again building up a wall to protect herself. Perhaps her girlfriend has told her not to trust you in being supportive. Regardless of her lifestyle choice, a girlfriend or boyfriend can have an enormous influence over someone. The new girlfriend may be manipulating and controlling your daughter. The fact that she would not tell your husband where daughter is living makes me wonder if she is trying to isolate your daughter. It's good that you have cut off financial support especially if she is not going to school and spending money on booze. There may also be other drugs involved. The only thing I can offer is to give your daughter space. Reach out to her once a week or maybe ever other week. Let her know you are thinking about her and that you love her. Ask her when a good time would be for you to get together for coffee or lunch and invite the girlfriend. If she doesn't respond or says "quit calling me" I would reply with something like "honey, I love you and just want to know that you are ok. I don't mean to bother you but I miss you. I will respect your wishes and hope that you will reach out to me sometime" One thing I've learned is when our adult difficult children get into a bind they usually will call mommy and daddy in hopes that we will help them. I have also learned that no matter how much we love our kids there comes a time when they are going to live the life they want and we have no control over that. I know this is hard. I'm glad you found us here, you are not alone. ((HUGS)) to you..................... [/QUOTE]
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22 year-old-daughter stopped speaking to parents
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