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22 year old son with bipolar still living at home makes us miserable, what to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 603310"><p>I'm so sorry. Our adopted daughter has bipolar disorder. It has been very hard.</p><p>I read very quickly your post and some of a few others. I would say that you have done a great job so far. Getting therapy for yourself and contacting NAMI are things I would have said to do as well. I agree, a boundary has to be set regarding violence in the home. I would give him fair warning that continued behavior will send him on the fast track out the door and might even cause you to call the police. </p><p> I would also set up requirements to remain in the home. They might include: seeing a weekly therapist and/or completing the forms for social security disability. However, should he get SSD, it is highly likely he will NOT be allowed to stay living in your residence (and that's a good thing).</p><p>You might double check your legal rights in this situation, as he might have some sort of right to be given "notice," in terms of terminating his ability to stay in the home. (I'm NOT sure I would tell HIM about what you discovered). But, first things first. Set up the rules. No violence, therapy (by the way, pay for this if you can afford it), SSD forms. Maybe medication if it is determined he needs to take medication. Consider helping him with the costs of medical necessities. Put it in writing saying that if any of the rules are broken, he has x number of days to find a new place of residence. Stop xxxxx footing around. He is over 21. Times up. Move forward with YOUR lives. Especially if you offer to help with his medical needs, you have absolutely no no no no no reason to feel an ounce of guilt. Sending good thoughts. I KNOW this is hard.</p><p>by the way, even if in the extremely unlikely chance he does abide by the rules, I would still encourage him to move out (might need the SSD to afford to do that).</p><p>PS Our daughter is on disability, lives in a nearby apartment, gets very very very minimum help from us and is usually respectful to us. She knows full well that if she is not respectful, we will cut off the minimum help we do provide for her. It has been extremely difficult, but she has grown (albeit in teeny tiny increments) over the last few years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 603310"] I'm so sorry. Our adopted daughter has bipolar disorder. It has been very hard. I read very quickly your post and some of a few others. I would say that you have done a great job so far. Getting therapy for yourself and contacting NAMI are things I would have said to do as well. I agree, a boundary has to be set regarding violence in the home. I would give him fair warning that continued behavior will send him on the fast track out the door and might even cause you to call the police. I would also set up requirements to remain in the home. They might include: seeing a weekly therapist and/or completing the forms for social security disability. However, should he get SSD, it is highly likely he will NOT be allowed to stay living in your residence (and that's a good thing). You might double check your legal rights in this situation, as he might have some sort of right to be given "notice," in terms of terminating his ability to stay in the home. (I'm NOT sure I would tell HIM about what you discovered). But, first things first. Set up the rules. No violence, therapy (by the way, pay for this if you can afford it), SSD forms. Maybe medication if it is determined he needs to take medication. Consider helping him with the costs of medical necessities. Put it in writing saying that if any of the rules are broken, he has x number of days to find a new place of residence. Stop xxxxx footing around. He is over 21. Times up. Move forward with YOUR lives. Especially if you offer to help with his medical needs, you have absolutely no no no no no reason to feel an ounce of guilt. Sending good thoughts. I KNOW this is hard. by the way, even if in the extremely unlikely chance he does abide by the rules, I would still encourage him to move out (might need the SSD to afford to do that). PS Our daughter is on disability, lives in a nearby apartment, gets very very very minimum help from us and is usually respectful to us. She knows full well that if she is not respectful, we will cut off the minimum help we do provide for her. It has been extremely difficult, but she has grown (albeit in teeny tiny increments) over the last few years. [/QUOTE]
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22 year old son with bipolar still living at home makes us miserable, what to do?
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