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22 yr. old son with Bipolar Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 663163" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think Copa did the right thing.</p><p></p><p>The only way we have a prayer of helping our adult c hildren who refuse treatment is to tell them that if they do not help themselves, they are on their own. I speak as somebody who has been diagnosed with bipolar II, which is now referred to as mood disorder, not otherwise specified. I have had a mood diisorder since childhood and really struggled and my parents were really mean to me and I had to get help on my own or I would not be better today. If I had refused medication and therapy, I would probably be alone on the streets. You can't just play around with even depression. You can't do it yourself either. You can't will yourself not to have moodswings and be erratic if you truly have this medical condition, a mood disorder which is also a chemical imbalance in the brain. Does your son get manic where he also gets psychotic? Often bipolar disorder is misdiagnosed and it is really more of a depression with anger (a mixed state of mania and depression at the same time, more specifically) that can be treated quite well with the right medications. The right medications can take time to find so it is mandatory to start looking for a combo that will work early on.</p><p></p><p>My medications saved my life. Therapy has been a bonus in my world. I would not be where I am without it. If my parents would have loved on me and tried to protect me and felt sorry for me I am not sure I would have done the hard work I had to do to get better. In a way, their lack of help was a blessing. They were mean, but it sent a message to me that I was on my own and would never live a good life if I didn't do it myself. I married young, but my first husband was no help either.</p><p></p><p>I think even with mental illness, tough love is the only thing you CAN do if your adult child refuses to help himself.</p><p></p><p>He may still choose not to help himself, but then at least you are not enabling his poor choice not to get treatment. The treatment is there. Some medications do not help and do make you feel worse so you advocate for yourself and switch medications until you find some doctor who will be kind and help you find a medication combination that helps stabilize you without the side effects of feeling like a zombie. I refused to feel like a zomebie and refused to stay sick and I got what I wanted from sheer refusal to quit on myself.</p><p></p><p>I did not like mood stabilizers. They did zombie me up, but I found I don't need them to stabilize my mood. An antidepressant has been my best friend for over twenty wonderful, depression free years. It is very individual to each person, but giving up after one bad medication experience is quitting on yourself. And refusing therapy is also quitting.</p><p></p><p>I would make taking medication and counseling a condition to your son's ability to live in your house and also he would have to get a job. It doesn't help to sit at home and do nothing. Just makes a mood disordered person feel worse and more depressed.</p><p></p><p>Does your son see his daughter?</p><p></p><p>Hugs f or your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 663163, member: 1550"] I think Copa did the right thing. The only way we have a prayer of helping our adult c hildren who refuse treatment is to tell them that if they do not help themselves, they are on their own. I speak as somebody who has been diagnosed with bipolar II, which is now referred to as mood disorder, not otherwise specified. I have had a mood diisorder since childhood and really struggled and my parents were really mean to me and I had to get help on my own or I would not be better today. If I had refused medication and therapy, I would probably be alone on the streets. You can't just play around with even depression. You can't do it yourself either. You can't will yourself not to have moodswings and be erratic if you truly have this medical condition, a mood disorder which is also a chemical imbalance in the brain. Does your son get manic where he also gets psychotic? Often bipolar disorder is misdiagnosed and it is really more of a depression with anger (a mixed state of mania and depression at the same time, more specifically) that can be treated quite well with the right medications. The right medications can take time to find so it is mandatory to start looking for a combo that will work early on. My medications saved my life. Therapy has been a bonus in my world. I would not be where I am without it. If my parents would have loved on me and tried to protect me and felt sorry for me I am not sure I would have done the hard work I had to do to get better. In a way, their lack of help was a blessing. They were mean, but it sent a message to me that I was on my own and would never live a good life if I didn't do it myself. I married young, but my first husband was no help either. I think even with mental illness, tough love is the only thing you CAN do if your adult child refuses to help himself. He may still choose not to help himself, but then at least you are not enabling his poor choice not to get treatment. The treatment is there. Some medications do not help and do make you feel worse so you advocate for yourself and switch medications until you find some doctor who will be kind and help you find a medication combination that helps stabilize you without the side effects of feeling like a zombie. I refused to feel like a zomebie and refused to stay sick and I got what I wanted from sheer refusal to quit on myself. I did not like mood stabilizers. They did zombie me up, but I found I don't need them to stabilize my mood. An antidepressant has been my best friend for over twenty wonderful, depression free years. It is very individual to each person, but giving up after one bad medication experience is quitting on yourself. And refusing therapy is also quitting. I would make taking medication and counseling a condition to your son's ability to live in your house and also he would have to get a job. It doesn't help to sit at home and do nothing. Just makes a mood disordered person feel worse and more depressed. Does your son see his daughter? Hugs f or your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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22 yr. old son with Bipolar Disorder
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