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General Parenting
23 year old brother violent, rants and still lives at home
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 661505" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok, welcome to the forum.</p><p></p><p>The problems are two: We don't have enough information first. Is he on drugs? Is he schizophrenic? I can see a parent being afraid to send a psychotic adult child into a world that will let him rot. There are not many alternatives. It does not sound as if your brother accused your father of abuse. It sounds like he was hallucinating, which is different. He thought it happened. Is he on SSI and does he have a caseworker to help him find suitable housing and care? You have no idea if he can learn to take care of himself. No offense to you, but you don't seem to understand the seriousness of psychosis. He would do poorly on his own without adult supports, and all that is not something you can do anything about. If he has schizophrenia or any thought disorder, he will not learn from being on the streets. He will just exist. 1/3rd of our homeless are mentally ill. He does need help, unless his problem is only drug abuse and not the most severe of mental illnesses. Your mother is not ready to let go of him and I think you should let her take her own life's walk and take YOUR life's path. All parents in difficult situations react differently and I know I would appreciate my own child telling me what to do about another of my children when things were hard enough. </p><p></p><p></p><p>The second issue is that this is not your child. You have no control over your parents, no matter how angry their behavior toward your brother makes you. It is up to them to decide what to do. It really isn't your business. Once you move out, it won't affect you.</p><p></p><p>If you were his mother or father I'd give some advice on where to go for help and also on having him feel better about himself by contributing financially to the housue. For somebody sick, he makes a living and that is also puzzling. I am guessing this is not the full story.</p><p></p><p>It is kind of you to care about your parents, but this is not your fight. I'd not try to control anyone but yourself. In the end, all we can control is us. We can learn to change our own behavior toward others (in a good way, hopefully), but we can not make anyone do anything and nagging and complaining is disrespectful. Your parents also have to learn what is best for them and you don't know what that is for them.</p><p></p><p>Congratulations on your freedom. I hope you thrive.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 661505, member: 1550"] Ok, welcome to the forum. The problems are two: We don't have enough information first. Is he on drugs? Is he schizophrenic? I can see a parent being afraid to send a psychotic adult child into a world that will let him rot. There are not many alternatives. It does not sound as if your brother accused your father of abuse. It sounds like he was hallucinating, which is different. He thought it happened. Is he on SSI and does he have a caseworker to help him find suitable housing and care? You have no idea if he can learn to take care of himself. No offense to you, but you don't seem to understand the seriousness of psychosis. He would do poorly on his own without adult supports, and all that is not something you can do anything about. If he has schizophrenia or any thought disorder, he will not learn from being on the streets. He will just exist. 1/3rd of our homeless are mentally ill. He does need help, unless his problem is only drug abuse and not the most severe of mental illnesses. Your mother is not ready to let go of him and I think you should let her take her own life's walk and take YOUR life's path. All parents in difficult situations react differently and I know I would appreciate my own child telling me what to do about another of my children when things were hard enough. The second issue is that this is not your child. You have no control over your parents, no matter how angry their behavior toward your brother makes you. It is up to them to decide what to do. It really isn't your business. Once you move out, it won't affect you. If you were his mother or father I'd give some advice on where to go for help and also on having him feel better about himself by contributing financially to the housue. For somebody sick, he makes a living and that is also puzzling. I am guessing this is not the full story. It is kind of you to care about your parents, but this is not your fight. I'd not try to control anyone but yourself. In the end, all we can control is us. We can learn to change our own behavior toward others (in a good way, hopefully), but we can not make anyone do anything and nagging and complaining is disrespectful. Your parents also have to learn what is best for them and you don't know what that is for them. Congratulations on your freedom. I hope you thrive. [/QUOTE]
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23 year old brother violent, rants and still lives at home
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