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23 year old son returning to college--very anxious
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<blockquote data-quote="agingrapidly" data-source="post: 697130" data-attributes="member: 20622"><p>Thank you! It sounds like your son is doing well now. Honestly, while I hope he does finish school, I want him to be independent and functional. At one point he did steal (and I am purposely using the word steal because it is easy to make it seem better than it was) money from us (big jar in closet where I would throw bills and change to save) to the tune of about $500 over a period of time. This was probably 18 months ago. So my brain goes everywhere with him, and I told him that he will have limited access money (since he has managed to save basically nothing from his work and I did make he pay for his summer classes) and if he does something stupid/illegal that I am not bailing him out.</p><p></p><p>To be honest (just like all of you), these are conversations I never thought I would have. Depression is one thing, which I can understand and be very empathetic about, but the marijuana adds a whole other level which is the part that makes me pissed.</p><p></p><p>I am definitely not a fan of legalization. But to be honest, I know my other two smoke on occasion, but they are doing great. My other son will be applying to PhD programs this fall. They do know in no uncertain terms they cannot bring anything into the house or ever smoke with him. In fact, when they are home they often have to wake us up and tell us that he is smoking and then they find the pot and give it to us to flush. Idiot us...we believed sometimes what we smelled was these cigarettes he smoked (which I hated and said he couldn't smoke in the house) or e-cigs (same thing I hated and said he couldn't smoke in the house), but we were told that if he is trying not to smoke that many people would be smoke ecigs. Never dealing with someone who had an addiction, I did not really know the lying, stealing, and manipulation.</p><p></p><p>I am not stupid anymore. I verify everything and I know things can change on a dime. It has been an emotional rollercoaster...and I know that for many of you it has been a lot harder...my heart goes out to everyone. This is certainly not where we want to be posting. I'd much rather be posting "everything's awesome" on Grown and Flown.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="agingrapidly, post: 697130, member: 20622"] Thank you! It sounds like your son is doing well now. Honestly, while I hope he does finish school, I want him to be independent and functional. At one point he did steal (and I am purposely using the word steal because it is easy to make it seem better than it was) money from us (big jar in closet where I would throw bills and change to save) to the tune of about $500 over a period of time. This was probably 18 months ago. So my brain goes everywhere with him, and I told him that he will have limited access money (since he has managed to save basically nothing from his work and I did make he pay for his summer classes) and if he does something stupid/illegal that I am not bailing him out. To be honest (just like all of you), these are conversations I never thought I would have. Depression is one thing, which I can understand and be very empathetic about, but the marijuana adds a whole other level which is the part that makes me pissed. I am definitely not a fan of legalization. But to be honest, I know my other two smoke on occasion, but they are doing great. My other son will be applying to PhD programs this fall. They do know in no uncertain terms they cannot bring anything into the house or ever smoke with him. In fact, when they are home they often have to wake us up and tell us that he is smoking and then they find the pot and give it to us to flush. Idiot us...we believed sometimes what we smelled was these cigarettes he smoked (which I hated and said he couldn't smoke in the house) or e-cigs (same thing I hated and said he couldn't smoke in the house), but we were told that if he is trying not to smoke that many people would be smoke ecigs. Never dealing with someone who had an addiction, I did not really know the lying, stealing, and manipulation. I am not stupid anymore. I verify everything and I know things can change on a dime. It has been an emotional rollercoaster...and I know that for many of you it has been a lot harder...my heart goes out to everyone. This is certainly not where we want to be posting. I'd much rather be posting "everything's awesome" on Grown and Flown. [/QUOTE]
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23 year old son returning to college--very anxious
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