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Failure to Thrive
23 yr old brother needs help
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 705155" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>As I read this I thought, "he's autistic." I believe from your description he is and is being misdiagnosed, as my own son was. In our case we never gave up and today at 23 with minimum supports he lives alone, works part time and has one close friend, and many love him, but he still likes his solitute and, like most spectrum adults, has a love of repetition and things he is used to, a love of videogames and maybe movies too. This is because autistics lack imagination so they love when it is created for them. They most certainly tend to be uncomfortable in social groups and are often mislabeled as mentally ill with social phobia being a huge misinterpretation.</p><p></p><p> My son does not need or take medication. Autism is a neurological difference not a mental illness. Oh yeah...Son doesn't want to drive either. Common in autistic people who don't do well when bombarded with sensory stuff...Noise, lights, etc. They tend to be overly sensitive to those things, which is partly why they like stability and sameness and familiarity. My son is much better now, but still sensitive. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) traits also very common. My son too. It is part of his autism, not separate. To me your brother sounds classic.</p><p></p><p>Having said that, and thinking it, the truth is that it does not matter what your brothers label is. It is caring and kind of you to want to help, but you can't.</p><p></p><p> I am not sure what you want to do, but you can neither force your brother, a legal adult, to get help or to force your competent parents to do things differently. We all only have control over one person, ourselves. This is true no matter how upset we are about what loved ones choose to do. You have no legal power and. I assume you've talked to everyone ad nauseum only to see no change. Nor willl you unless the players all want to change things. You are a family member, but not a real participant in this game. You care but you can not do. Legally you can't.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion is to back off. Trying to put in your two cents has not and will not work and the truth is you don't really know what is wrong with your brother. There are no blood tests for either psychiatric problems or autism, which he sounds like to me, but either way even a professional can only guess since there are no defining tests. That means you can't know what's wrong either. Our son was misdiagnosed many times. His Neuro psychiatrist from Mayo Clinic told us honestly that hisgreat institution misdiagnosed people all the time, that every place does. We were lucky that he caught the high functioning autism, that the interventions were so effective,can't that our loveable son can be independent and mostly on his own with the help of a little social security.</p><p></p><p>I'm sure you have friends, career, maybe significant other and honestly since you can't control this family situation, my suggestion is to live a, happy life of our own. You have no other options, except talking, and after a while even loved ones get agitated when somebody gets involved in a situation that doesn't directly concern them. Then we just put more stress on the situation because we think we know best. Usually the situation still doesn't change, bad feelings happen. You could try to report this to elder abuse, but it sounds like your parents are not that old or incompetent and this could really blow up on you. Sounds more to me as if brother is disabled rather than deliberately abusive.</p><p></p><p>I suggest a Disability attorney. Disability will bring brother other supports he needs too. They will help him get a diagnosis and s job suitable to him. He will have a caseworker. He may even get housing help. It is common to be turned down a few times, thus the attorney.</p><p></p><p>Good luck on your own awesome life <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 705155, member: 1550"] As I read this I thought, "he's autistic." I believe from your description he is and is being misdiagnosed, as my own son was. In our case we never gave up and today at 23 with minimum supports he lives alone, works part time and has one close friend, and many love him, but he still likes his solitute and, like most spectrum adults, has a love of repetition and things he is used to, a love of videogames and maybe movies too. This is because autistics lack imagination so they love when it is created for them. They most certainly tend to be uncomfortable in social groups and are often mislabeled as mentally ill with social phobia being a huge misinterpretation. My son does not need or take medication. Autism is a neurological difference not a mental illness. Oh yeah...Son doesn't want to drive either. Common in autistic people who don't do well when bombarded with sensory stuff...Noise, lights, etc. They tend to be overly sensitive to those things, which is partly why they like stability and sameness and familiarity. My son is much better now, but still sensitive. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) traits also very common. My son too. It is part of his autism, not separate. To me your brother sounds classic. Having said that, and thinking it, the truth is that it does not matter what your brothers label is. It is caring and kind of you to want to help, but you can't. I am not sure what you want to do, but you can neither force your brother, a legal adult, to get help or to force your competent parents to do things differently. We all only have control over one person, ourselves. This is true no matter how upset we are about what loved ones choose to do. You have no legal power and. I assume you've talked to everyone ad nauseum only to see no change. Nor willl you unless the players all want to change things. You are a family member, but not a real participant in this game. You care but you can not do. Legally you can't. My suggestion is to back off. Trying to put in your two cents has not and will not work and the truth is you don't really know what is wrong with your brother. There are no blood tests for either psychiatric problems or autism, which he sounds like to me, but either way even a professional can only guess since there are no defining tests. That means you can't know what's wrong either. Our son was misdiagnosed many times. His Neuro psychiatrist from Mayo Clinic told us honestly that hisgreat institution misdiagnosed people all the time, that every place does. We were lucky that he caught the high functioning autism, that the interventions were so effective,can't that our loveable son can be independent and mostly on his own with the help of a little social security. I'm sure you have friends, career, maybe significant other and honestly since you can't control this family situation, my suggestion is to live a, happy life of our own. You have no other options, except talking, and after a while even loved ones get agitated when somebody gets involved in a situation that doesn't directly concern them. Then we just put more stress on the situation because we think we know best. Usually the situation still doesn't change, bad feelings happen. You could try to report this to elder abuse, but it sounds like your parents are not that old or incompetent and this could really blow up on you. Sounds more to me as if brother is disabled rather than deliberately abusive. I suggest a Disability attorney. Disability will bring brother other supports he needs too. They will help him get a diagnosis and s job suitable to him. He will have a caseworker. He may even get housing help. It is common to be turned down a few times, thus the attorney. Good luck on your own awesome life :) [/QUOTE]
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23 yr old brother needs help
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