I can’t remember who here brought up the “24 hour mother disaster news channel”, but I am finding myself stuck there this morning. There was a shooting in the area of the city where my two wayward ones tend to hang out and an unidentified man was killed. I have no other details, no reason to believe this could be my son, they haven’t even released the approximate age or race of the man in question. Shootings happen in the city with a sad regularity. But for whatever reason my mind is racing to the inevitable what ifs this morning. Because this is my greatest fear. That one of my kids will be killed on the street with no ID and I will never know what happened to them. Somewhere on the back pages of a newspaper will be a small story about an unidentified homeless man found dead on the streets and I will never see it or make the connection. I last heard from C a few days ago when he did respond to a text and promised he would call later but of course he never did. I know he’s probably fine and sleeping somewhere (where? Who knows.). I’ll text him later and hopefully he’ll respond. He often doesn’t. I just can’t quite figure out how to change the channel in the meantime.