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Substance Abuse
24 Hours
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 729414" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>(((((HUGS)))))</p><p></p><p></p><p>Of COURSE you are posting more than replying right now!!! Why would we expect anything else of you?!?!!! This is a HUGE time in your life and your husband's life and your child's life! It is emotionally grueling and draining and awful! There won't be much space for other people's problems for a while, and that is perfectly normal and acceptable. We understand this. We WANT you to focus on you for as long as you need to during this time. </p><p></p><p>Please remember that this is one of the most stressful things that a parent can go through. You have to remind yourself that you are allowed to grieve for what won't be, for what is lost. You have to learn to let go, to detach. You have to deal with so many unnatural things, like all the ugliness and manipulation. Just getting a child to rehab is a major undertaking, about the equivalent of moving across the country, or so it seems sometimes. So don't be hard on yourself and don't expect to just jump back in and start taking on other people's problems. Give yourself some time to rebuild yourself. </p><p></p><p>As for your husband, I don't know what is up with that. I know my dad did it to my mom also. He went to work and kept up his routines and left the hard stuff to her. She never told him how hard it was to deal with the court and the jail and all of that until she had a breakdown. Your husband cannot read your mind. If he says he doesn't have time, and you say, "Oh, okay." then he thinks it is okay. You have to tell him that you need his support if you need it. He may be desperate to keep his work from finding out. Or he may be having problems at work from time off over this. I don't know. But I do know that if you don't tell him what you need, he won't know and he won't have a chance of meeting those needs.</p><p></p><p>I hope and pray all goes well tomorrow!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 729414, member: 1233"] (((((HUGS))))) Of COURSE you are posting more than replying right now!!! Why would we expect anything else of you?!?!!! This is a HUGE time in your life and your husband's life and your child's life! It is emotionally grueling and draining and awful! There won't be much space for other people's problems for a while, and that is perfectly normal and acceptable. We understand this. We WANT you to focus on you for as long as you need to during this time. Please remember that this is one of the most stressful things that a parent can go through. You have to remind yourself that you are allowed to grieve for what won't be, for what is lost. You have to learn to let go, to detach. You have to deal with so many unnatural things, like all the ugliness and manipulation. Just getting a child to rehab is a major undertaking, about the equivalent of moving across the country, or so it seems sometimes. So don't be hard on yourself and don't expect to just jump back in and start taking on other people's problems. Give yourself some time to rebuild yourself. As for your husband, I don't know what is up with that. I know my dad did it to my mom also. He went to work and kept up his routines and left the hard stuff to her. She never told him how hard it was to deal with the court and the jail and all of that until she had a breakdown. Your husband cannot read your mind. If he says he doesn't have time, and you say, "Oh, okay." then he thinks it is okay. You have to tell him that you need his support if you need it. He may be desperate to keep his work from finding out. Or he may be having problems at work from time off over this. I don't know. But I do know that if you don't tell him what you need, he won't know and he won't have a chance of meeting those needs. I hope and pray all goes well tomorrow! [/QUOTE]
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