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Parent Emeritus
27 year old daughter with ADHD
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725871" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You are welcome. And I don't want to rain on your parade, as I think you did a great job, but this breakdown and crying and sudden need for us is very common in our more manipulative adult kids. They know exactly how to make us feel soft and to relent and to foster hope in them so that we give to them again. Am I sure your daughter is doing this? No. Do I think it is highly likely? Yes. If she has any sort of personality disorder...borderline, narcissist or antisocial, she is an expert in knowing how to tug at your heart and may not be sincere. Has she done this before only to backslide? They are also good at saying what therapists want to hear. Often they get misdiagnosed because they lie. Will she? Again, it is possible either way.</p><p></p><p>ADHD doesn't cause the kind of unpleasantness you described.</p><p> So many have it. I am sure I have it. I never could take stimulants though. They made me depressed and put me to sleep (both). I do take an antidepressant and it helps but I don't have a personality disorder.</p><p></p><p>Don't let your guard down. Give her at least six months of kind behavior before you trust her or you could get very hurt or worse. People don't change overnight.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime you did a great job of setting boundaries. Kudos to you!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725871, member: 1550"] You are welcome. And I don't want to rain on your parade, as I think you did a great job, but this breakdown and crying and sudden need for us is very common in our more manipulative adult kids. They know exactly how to make us feel soft and to relent and to foster hope in them so that we give to them again. Am I sure your daughter is doing this? No. Do I think it is highly likely? Yes. If she has any sort of personality disorder...borderline, narcissist or antisocial, she is an expert in knowing how to tug at your heart and may not be sincere. Has she done this before only to backslide? They are also good at saying what therapists want to hear. Often they get misdiagnosed because they lie. Will she? Again, it is possible either way. ADHD doesn't cause the kind of unpleasantness you described. So many have it. I am sure I have it. I never could take stimulants though. They made me depressed and put me to sleep (both). I do take an antidepressant and it helps but I don't have a personality disorder. Don't let your guard down. Give her at least six months of kind behavior before you trust her or you could get very hurt or worse. People don't change overnight. In the meantime you did a great job of setting boundaries. Kudos to you!! [/QUOTE]
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27 year old daughter with ADHD
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