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Substance Abuse
27yr old son Missing for days now...Heroin addict
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 707443" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Gina. I hope to G-d he is in the hospital. My son, 28 years now, is not on hard drugs. But I would take seriously what Nancy advises:</p><p> I know you would do anything, take a bullet, or worse...but the thing is IT WILL NOT HELP. Your own destruction, willful or not, WILL NOT HELP. It is what HE WILL DO. Not you.</p><p></p><p>In a paradoxical way our helping, puts them in greater danger because it reinforces the idea in them (and us) that it is what we do that matters. That the solutions are in US not IN THEM, which is false.</p><p></p><p>You cannot keep him safe. You cannot kick drugs for him. You cannot do what it takes for him to detox and to recover. You cannot make him want to take those steps. You cannot make him better. None of us can. Not me. Not anybody here.</p><p></p><p>This is why we are here on this forum. We tried and tried. And we failed.</p><p></p><p>But for some of us, our kids our changing. Because they changed. They changed by their own decisions, their own efforts.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes all there is to do is to pray. And to focus upon what you can do for yourself, your husband and the rest of the family to strengthen yourselves to endure and to support your son, when he is ready.</p><p></p><p>I hope he stayed in the hospital. I hope you keep posting. It helps.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for your worry and pain and fear.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 707443, member: 18958"] Gina. I hope to G-d he is in the hospital. My son, 28 years now, is not on hard drugs. But I would take seriously what Nancy advises: I know you would do anything, take a bullet, or worse...but the thing is IT WILL NOT HELP. Your own destruction, willful or not, WILL NOT HELP. It is what HE WILL DO. Not you. In a paradoxical way our helping, puts them in greater danger because it reinforces the idea in them (and us) that it is what we do that matters. That the solutions are in US not IN THEM, which is false. You cannot keep him safe. You cannot kick drugs for him. You cannot do what it takes for him to detox and to recover. You cannot make him want to take those steps. You cannot make him better. None of us can. Not me. Not anybody here. This is why we are here on this forum. We tried and tried. And we failed. But for some of us, our kids our changing. Because they changed. They changed by their own decisions, their own efforts. Sometimes all there is to do is to pray. And to focus upon what you can do for yourself, your husband and the rest of the family to strengthen yourselves to endure and to support your son, when he is ready. I hope he stayed in the hospital. I hope you keep posting. It helps. I am so sorry for your worry and pain and fear. [/QUOTE]
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27yr old son Missing for days now...Heroin addict
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