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Parent Emeritus
29 Year Old Son Sucking the Life Out of Me
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 761139" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I agree that misplaced blame and guilt are at the root of having difficulty detaching. There's something about being a parent, a mother especially, that difficult children are expert at manipulating - at least that's true for me. Then comes the sadness and fear. If I don't do this, then this bad thing will happen, or that bad thing, or they will think I don't love them. </p><p></p><p>I still struggle with not taking blame and detaching, but I work hard at it. Very little that I've done to save my two difficult children from themselves has changed them. The only person I can change is me, so I go to therapy, read, find supportive people (like this forum), go to 12 step, and TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND TRY TO HAVE SOME FUN. I used to feel guilty about that too, but I'm 68 years old, and I believe I'm worthy of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 761139, member: 19832"] I agree that misplaced blame and guilt are at the root of having difficulty detaching. There's something about being a parent, a mother especially, that difficult children are expert at manipulating - at least that's true for me. Then comes the sadness and fear. If I don't do this, then this bad thing will happen, or that bad thing, or they will think I don't love them. I still struggle with not taking blame and detaching, but I work hard at it. Very little that I've done to save my two difficult children from themselves has changed them. The only person I can change is me, so I go to therapy, read, find supportive people (like this forum), go to 12 step, and TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND TRY TO HAVE SOME FUN. I used to feel guilty about that too, but I'm 68 years old, and I believe I'm worthy of it. [/QUOTE]
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