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2nd counselor visit
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 665400" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Oh my dear worried sick, I have been exactly where you are right now. I followed my daughter around, I checked her emails and her texts and her phone calls. I had a list of all the numbers from her phone and I attached names to them so I knew who she was talking to. I read her facebook and myspace and you name it I did it. I went looking for her when she didn't come home. When I look back now I can't believe I survived. I was going to save her if it was the last thing I did, and it almost was. I tried to rationalize it but there was no way. I had to get myself detached from all that craziness. I said the same thing you did, it was unnatural, I was the mom. But it is true, I had to stop living her life. I had to come to terms with the fact that I could not keep her from doing what she was going to do.</p><p></p><p>I did find a couple support groups. I had to go to many different al-anon meetings before I found some that I connected with and it did not help overnight, it took a while. I found families anonymous to be most helpful. Little by little I found myself thinking of other things than my daughter. Step by step, maybe two forward one one back at times. But it wasn't until I learned how to live my life separate from her that I began to get better and she began to get help, because she had fallen down so low that the had to pick herself up.</p><p></p><p>It will not be easy, this will probably be the hardest thing you ever have to do. You cannot save your son, only he can do that. You can be there, strong and independent, if and when he comes to you for help. Until then you need to take care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs of understanding.</p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 665400, member: 59"] Oh my dear worried sick, I have been exactly where you are right now. I followed my daughter around, I checked her emails and her texts and her phone calls. I had a list of all the numbers from her phone and I attached names to them so I knew who she was talking to. I read her facebook and myspace and you name it I did it. I went looking for her when she didn't come home. When I look back now I can't believe I survived. I was going to save her if it was the last thing I did, and it almost was. I tried to rationalize it but there was no way. I had to get myself detached from all that craziness. I said the same thing you did, it was unnatural, I was the mom. But it is true, I had to stop living her life. I had to come to terms with the fact that I could not keep her from doing what she was going to do. I did find a couple support groups. I had to go to many different al-anon meetings before I found some that I connected with and it did not help overnight, it took a while. I found families anonymous to be most helpful. Little by little I found myself thinking of other things than my daughter. Step by step, maybe two forward one one back at times. But it wasn't until I learned how to live my life separate from her that I began to get better and she began to get help, because she had fallen down so low that the had to pick herself up. It will not be easy, this will probably be the hardest thing you ever have to do. You cannot save your son, only he can do that. You can be there, strong and independent, if and when he comes to you for help. Until then you need to take care of yourself. Sending hugs of understanding. [I] [/I] [/QUOTE]
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