Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
2nd counselor visit
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 665525" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>I know how hard this is for you. I, too, tried everything to try to save my daughter. I was sure that I just had to find the right doctor, the right medications, the right rehab, the right halfway house and so on. My husband and I spent over $60,000 dollars on a very highly recommended 3-month treatment program. We forced our daughter to go using an interventionist and she started using again as soon as she got out.</p><p></p><p>It took ten years before I finally realized that it wasn't mine to fix. It took two years of private therapy for me to stop enabling my daughter. This is hard to hear but every penny that you spend supporting him (i.e. apartment rent) is just giving him money to spend on drugs.</p><p></p><p>I started taking my husband with me to my therapy visits after the first year and it helped him, too. We finally cut off all financial help and stopped letting our daughter manipulate us. Now that she realizes we are serious she has cut off contact with us.</p><p></p><p>I will always love my daughter but I refuse to be in a toxic relationship with her. I understand now that she is the one that needs to do the work if she is serious about recovery. I hope to re-establish a relationship one day but it will have to be after she shows us that she is serious about recovery through actions . . . not words.</p><p></p><p>Your son is still very young. I wish I had learned about detachment and setting boundaries while my daughter was that age.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. You will find incredible support and understanding here.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 665525, member: 1967"] I know how hard this is for you. I, too, tried everything to try to save my daughter. I was sure that I just had to find the right doctor, the right medications, the right rehab, the right halfway house and so on. My husband and I spent over $60,000 dollars on a very highly recommended 3-month treatment program. We forced our daughter to go using an interventionist and she started using again as soon as she got out. It took ten years before I finally realized that it wasn't mine to fix. It took two years of private therapy for me to stop enabling my daughter. This is hard to hear but every penny that you spend supporting him (i.e. apartment rent) is just giving him money to spend on drugs. I started taking my husband with me to my therapy visits after the first year and it helped him, too. We finally cut off all financial help and stopped letting our daughter manipulate us. Now that she realizes we are serious she has cut off contact with us. I will always love my daughter but I refuse to be in a toxic relationship with her. I understand now that she is the one that needs to do the work if she is serious about recovery. I hope to re-establish a relationship one day but it will have to be after she shows us that she is serious about recovery through actions . . . not words. Your son is still very young. I wish I had learned about detachment and setting boundaries while my daughter was that age. Keep posting. You will find incredible support and understanding here. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
2nd counselor visit
Top