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3 months in....and drama?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639968" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My son has no friends either. I am VERY sad about it and he sadly relies on me to be his friend and the one he bounces his life off of. It is very strange for a 37 year old son to tell his mother everything. That's why it was pretty easy to get him to be respectful to me...if I hang up on him for being mean to me, then he has nobody...and I mean nobody...to talk to about anything. It bothers me more than it seems to bother him so maybe I shouldn't be bothered at all except that I don't WANT to be the one who knows all, even about his sex life. I really don't.</p><p></p><p>My son basically forms relationships thinking "what can you do for me?" So maybe he likes his lack of male friends. Sometimes he has a girlfriend, but so far they have been really dysfunctional and one difficult child plus one difficult child equals ZERO. They break up...lol. Ok, so it's not funny, but you have to laugh or you'll cry.</p><p></p><p>I do not engage my son at all when he is in one of his moods. I realized how he just talked circles around me with a clever combo of trying to cause me guilt and lashing out at me over the dumbest things, but he is my son so it hurt. Now I say as little as possible.</p><p></p><p>I love cliches. Is that a bad thing? Another one of mine is: "LESS IS MORE."</p><p></p><p>Your son doesn't really need an apartment for one person. A room would work. Also, he can try to get on the list for Section 8 Housing. There are long waiting lists, but it is worth a try. His utilities would be covered and he'd only have to pay 30% of his income, even if that was only welfare. He can apply for the few entitlements we allow as well.</p><p></p><p>It is sad when they burn all their bridges in the family. My son also did that. His siblings can't stand him and never want to see him. Yes, it's that bad. But they heard him going off on me in a frightening way and hovering over me like he was going to punch my lights out. They saw him put his fist through the wall by my head. They were treated like crapola by him. One thing difficult children NEED to learn, and very, very sadly rarely learn is that giving is a two way street. You can't take, take, take forever and be a jerk and never help in return. Eventually you burn people out and they start resenting you. </p><p></p><p>My son doesn't seem to care about his sibling's avoiding him. Nothing seems to bother him unless it is directly related to him or his contact with his son. I hope he continues to be a good dad to his son when his son is older and starts rebelling and isn't as much fun as he is now. It is something that scares me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639968, member: 1550"] My son has no friends either. I am VERY sad about it and he sadly relies on me to be his friend and the one he bounces his life off of. It is very strange for a 37 year old son to tell his mother everything. That's why it was pretty easy to get him to be respectful to me...if I hang up on him for being mean to me, then he has nobody...and I mean nobody...to talk to about anything. It bothers me more than it seems to bother him so maybe I shouldn't be bothered at all except that I don't WANT to be the one who knows all, even about his sex life. I really don't. My son basically forms relationships thinking "what can you do for me?" So maybe he likes his lack of male friends. Sometimes he has a girlfriend, but so far they have been really dysfunctional and one difficult child plus one difficult child equals ZERO. They break up...lol. Ok, so it's not funny, but you have to laugh or you'll cry. I do not engage my son at all when he is in one of his moods. I realized how he just talked circles around me with a clever combo of trying to cause me guilt and lashing out at me over the dumbest things, but he is my son so it hurt. Now I say as little as possible. I love cliches. Is that a bad thing? Another one of mine is: "LESS IS MORE." Your son doesn't really need an apartment for one person. A room would work. Also, he can try to get on the list for Section 8 Housing. There are long waiting lists, but it is worth a try. His utilities would be covered and he'd only have to pay 30% of his income, even if that was only welfare. He can apply for the few entitlements we allow as well. It is sad when they burn all their bridges in the family. My son also did that. His siblings can't stand him and never want to see him. Yes, it's that bad. But they heard him going off on me in a frightening way and hovering over me like he was going to punch my lights out. They saw him put his fist through the wall by my head. They were treated like crapola by him. One thing difficult children NEED to learn, and very, very sadly rarely learn is that giving is a two way street. You can't take, take, take forever and be a jerk and never help in return. Eventually you burn people out and they start resenting you. My son doesn't seem to care about his sibling's avoiding him. Nothing seems to bother him unless it is directly related to him or his contact with his son. I hope he continues to be a good dad to his son when his son is older and starts rebelling and isn't as much fun as he is now. It is something that scares me. [/QUOTE]
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