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Parent Emeritus
3 months in....and drama?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 640016" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Part of the reason I don't give advice anymore, but assure him that he can do it is because he absolutely never listens to my advice so I am wasting my time and just repeating myself, which is wasted minutes. Part of it is because he does need to figure things out for himself without me. I have a life, a job, other kids, granddaughter, and hobbies and I also can not be there for him forever. I really say "You're a smart man and I know you can figure this out yourself" so many times that I must say it in my sleep. Often he hangs up on me when I say it, but oh well. It's true. He is smart and he does know what to do. I can't make him do what he knows he should do and I'm done trying.</p><p></p><p>I'm pretty good about letting my grown kids live their own lives and being cool with it even if it's not something I agree with. I learend this from my ex-mother-in-law, now deceased. She was an angel and everyone loved her. And all she did to earn it was to be kind and to withhold spoken judgment about anything. I can't remember her ever saying a critical word to me, her inept daughter-in-law whom her son tormented. She was just sweet and soothing and accepted everything/everyone as it was. It was a very endearing trait and I talk to her still...in her new residence...somewhere else. She was the only good mother role model I ever had. And she wasn't a doormat either. She could kindly set boundaries when necessary and take good care of herself. I knew she did not always approve of her son, but she would never get involved in our marital problems, which was best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 640016, member: 1550"] Part of the reason I don't give advice anymore, but assure him that he can do it is because he absolutely never listens to my advice so I am wasting my time and just repeating myself, which is wasted minutes. Part of it is because he does need to figure things out for himself without me. I have a life, a job, other kids, granddaughter, and hobbies and I also can not be there for him forever. I really say "You're a smart man and I know you can figure this out yourself" so many times that I must say it in my sleep. Often he hangs up on me when I say it, but oh well. It's true. He is smart and he does know what to do. I can't make him do what he knows he should do and I'm done trying. I'm pretty good about letting my grown kids live their own lives and being cool with it even if it's not something I agree with. I learend this from my ex-mother-in-law, now deceased. She was an angel and everyone loved her. And all she did to earn it was to be kind and to withhold spoken judgment about anything. I can't remember her ever saying a critical word to me, her inept daughter-in-law whom her son tormented. She was just sweet and soothing and accepted everything/everyone as it was. It was a very endearing trait and I talk to her still...in her new residence...somewhere else. She was the only good mother role model I ever had. And she wasn't a doormat either. She could kindly set boundaries when necessary and take good care of herself. I knew she did not always approve of her son, but she would never get involved in our marital problems, which was best. [/QUOTE]
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3 months in....and drama?
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