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Substance Abuse
3 weeks inpatient update
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 623547" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>'</p><p></p><p>When he is sick and tired of being sick and tired, Comatheart. Then and only then. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Good for you. Be sure to let him know that well in advance so you have done your part. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Not to be flip myself, but so what? Think of all of the times you have flipped out because of something he has done. I used to take all of the hits myself while continuing to protect his "fragile self" or so I thought. Well anybody who can do the things my difficult child has done isn't so fragile, or at the very least, I count as much as he does. </p><p></p><p>I understand how sickening it is to hear from him and from the professionals that our difficult children aren't participating. I paid $6000 for my son to go to rehab the first time for 30 days. At the end of it all, at his graduation ceremony (ha!), there was a big roundtable discussion and his dad and I were both there. His fellows in rehab talked about how sad they all were that my difficult child had not fully participated and in fact resisted the entire 30 days he was there. They were honest and direct and sad. It was awful to sit there and hear that and feel so helpless. That was nearly four years ago. I should have never manipulated and coerced him into rehab. It wasn't anybody's "fault" but my own. I insisted he go and would hear of nothing else. </p><p></p><p>It will never work until he is ready for it to work and wants to change as bad as he wants drugs. </p><p></p><p>Comatheart, I am reading a great book that I want to recommend to you: When the Servant Becomes the Master. It not only goes into the biochemisty of addiction, the facts really help "normalize" this disease as very much like any chronic disease, requiring lots of treatment over long periods of time to "manage" the disease. They are never cured. It is very hopeful, because it is based in medical fact, not in willpower, morality or behavior. </p><p></p><p>Finally, I am just sorry. Truly. This disease takes no prisoners. It affects everybody and we all go down with it. I am in fact hopeful that you and husband are at a turning point and I encourage you to continue your work.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and prayers for you both tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 623547, member: 17542"] ' When he is sick and tired of being sick and tired, Comatheart. Then and only then. Good for you. Be sure to let him know that well in advance so you have done your part. Not to be flip myself, but so what? Think of all of the times you have flipped out because of something he has done. I used to take all of the hits myself while continuing to protect his "fragile self" or so I thought. Well anybody who can do the things my difficult child has done isn't so fragile, or at the very least, I count as much as he does. I understand how sickening it is to hear from him and from the professionals that our difficult children aren't participating. I paid $6000 for my son to go to rehab the first time for 30 days. At the end of it all, at his graduation ceremony (ha!), there was a big roundtable discussion and his dad and I were both there. His fellows in rehab talked about how sad they all were that my difficult child had not fully participated and in fact resisted the entire 30 days he was there. They were honest and direct and sad. It was awful to sit there and hear that and feel so helpless. That was nearly four years ago. I should have never manipulated and coerced him into rehab. It wasn't anybody's "fault" but my own. I insisted he go and would hear of nothing else. It will never work until he is ready for it to work and wants to change as bad as he wants drugs. Comatheart, I am reading a great book that I want to recommend to you: When the Servant Becomes the Master. It not only goes into the biochemisty of addiction, the facts really help "normalize" this disease as very much like any chronic disease, requiring lots of treatment over long periods of time to "manage" the disease. They are never cured. It is very hopeful, because it is based in medical fact, not in willpower, morality or behavior. Finally, I am just sorry. Truly. This disease takes no prisoners. It affects everybody and we all go down with it. I am in fact hopeful that you and husband are at a turning point and I encourage you to continue your work. Hugs and prayers for you both tonight. [/QUOTE]
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