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Substance Abuse
3 weeks - no contact
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 707819" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Nobody can fo this for him. Nobody. Once he himself chooses the rigjt path then you can show him emotional support. I think financial support usually doesnt help and often hinders them from growing up. Most adult childten are eager to grow up.the types that bring us here are different for various reasons...disabilities, drug use, mental health issues...whatever it is, most are unemployed or underemployed (pizza drivers etc.), unmotivated and at least smoking daily pot, if not more. I think parents see them as children still because they are so dependent on us to survive. Yet, like toddlers, if we give them a break and let them come back home, they pout and tantrum and defy rules and do not work. If we deny them money they throw fits, as if we were denying them candy at a store when they were three. Its a bigger version of the same issue.</p><p></p><p>We dont help them grow up by letting them boss us around and get money, toys, cars without working or paying themselves. I think that keeps them children. I have an autistic son who, with minimal supports, lives in his own apartment, has two part time jobs and has a cheery, loving disposition. He is 23.</p><p></p><p>I believe we need to pull out of mommy mode by twenty, even with a disabled kid, in order for our adult child to reach his highest potential. My autistic son gets some SSI, not a lot because he works, and he pays all his own bills, rent included. We always made him do things for himself.</p><p></p><p>Think about it. Hugs <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> its time to let him be a man and to let yourself let HIM figure it out. Or not.You cant control what your mpther does though.she'll probably get it eventually. You are grown up too. You make your own decisions, Mother makes hers. Son will make his. All adults.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 707819, member: 1550"] Nobody can fo this for him. Nobody. Once he himself chooses the rigjt path then you can show him emotional support. I think financial support usually doesnt help and often hinders them from growing up. Most adult childten are eager to grow up.the types that bring us here are different for various reasons...disabilities, drug use, mental health issues...whatever it is, most are unemployed or underemployed (pizza drivers etc.), unmotivated and at least smoking daily pot, if not more. I think parents see them as children still because they are so dependent on us to survive. Yet, like toddlers, if we give them a break and let them come back home, they pout and tantrum and defy rules and do not work. If we deny them money they throw fits, as if we were denying them candy at a store when they were three. Its a bigger version of the same issue. We dont help them grow up by letting them boss us around and get money, toys, cars without working or paying themselves. I think that keeps them children. I have an autistic son who, with minimal supports, lives in his own apartment, has two part time jobs and has a cheery, loving disposition. He is 23. I believe we need to pull out of mommy mode by twenty, even with a disabled kid, in order for our adult child to reach his highest potential. My autistic son gets some SSI, not a lot because he works, and he pays all his own bills, rent included. We always made him do things for himself. Think about it. Hugs :) its time to let him be a man and to let yourself let HIM figure it out. Or not.You cant control what your mpther does though.she'll probably get it eventually. You are grown up too. You make your own decisions, Mother makes hers. Son will make his. All adults. [/QUOTE]
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