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33 year old difficult child homeless in CO
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 638638" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi Tanya, welcome. I'm sorry you are continuing to be dragged in to your sons orbit of drama, manipulation, lies and blame. Your son sounds much like many of our adult troubled kids. We call our kids, collectively, difficult child's which is Gift From God. </p><p></p><p>You've done enough. No one here is going to judge you, we understand how far we can be pushed into insanity before we realize we cannot control another nor have any impact on the choices they make. Your son is a grown adult man, his postings on FB are typical behavior, looking for sympathy so someone will either feel sorry or guilty, either way, he would get yet another free pass. Don't let it impact you, it's intended to have the effect it is having on you, your sister, everyone who sees it. That is how difficult child's maneuver through the world, using manipulation. Generally, they are masters at it. </p><p></p><p>It sounds as if you've done a lot of work to get where you are. We pay a huge price by the time we get to where you are, it is devastating on every level. And, then all we end up with is the option to detach and learn how to accept what is and move on with our own lives. It's a tough path, but now that you're here, you know you aren't alone. When I first came here 3 years ago, I was astonished that so many others were living the same kind of life as I was..........it has a certain comfort to know you aren't out there all by yourself anymore. Vent away, I'm sure you have a lot to say. That's what we're here for. It helps so much to spill the words out to others who understand and can simply accept your story, knowing you did your level best and this is how it turned out. You're among many wounded warriors who have been battling similar issues for a long time. </p><p></p><p>You may find the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here interesting and informative. Perhaps you've already memorized similar articles...........I know you've been at this a long time. My own daughter is 41 so I understand where you're coming from. Hang in there. Keep posting. I hope you have a good support system, a group, or a therapist, somewhere you can go to feel heard, to get compassion and understanding, to get info and support. This is a painful journey we are on, the only way that I've found to find peace is to detach and accept what I can't change. I have no control over my daughter's choices. </p><p></p><p>If others read your sons post and believe it, then they don't know you. Let that go. We also can't control what others think of us. I know it's hard, but all it will do is cause you suffering and really, you can't change it, so.........</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you found us Tanya. Wishing you peace.......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 638638, member: 13542"] Hi Tanya, welcome. I'm sorry you are continuing to be dragged in to your sons orbit of drama, manipulation, lies and blame. Your son sounds much like many of our adult troubled kids. We call our kids, collectively, difficult child's which is Gift From God. You've done enough. No one here is going to judge you, we understand how far we can be pushed into insanity before we realize we cannot control another nor have any impact on the choices they make. Your son is a grown adult man, his postings on FB are typical behavior, looking for sympathy so someone will either feel sorry or guilty, either way, he would get yet another free pass. Don't let it impact you, it's intended to have the effect it is having on you, your sister, everyone who sees it. That is how difficult child's maneuver through the world, using manipulation. Generally, they are masters at it. It sounds as if you've done a lot of work to get where you are. We pay a huge price by the time we get to where you are, it is devastating on every level. And, then all we end up with is the option to detach and learn how to accept what is and move on with our own lives. It's a tough path, but now that you're here, you know you aren't alone. When I first came here 3 years ago, I was astonished that so many others were living the same kind of life as I was..........it has a certain comfort to know you aren't out there all by yourself anymore. Vent away, I'm sure you have a lot to say. That's what we're here for. It helps so much to spill the words out to others who understand and can simply accept your story, knowing you did your level best and this is how it turned out. You're among many wounded warriors who have been battling similar issues for a long time. You may find the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here interesting and informative. Perhaps you've already memorized similar articles...........I know you've been at this a long time. My own daughter is 41 so I understand where you're coming from. Hang in there. Keep posting. I hope you have a good support system, a group, or a therapist, somewhere you can go to feel heard, to get compassion and understanding, to get info and support. This is a painful journey we are on, the only way that I've found to find peace is to detach and accept what I can't change. I have no control over my daughter's choices. If others read your sons post and believe it, then they don't know you. Let that go. We also can't control what others think of us. I know it's hard, but all it will do is cause you suffering and really, you can't change it, so......... I'm glad you found us Tanya. Wishing you peace....... [/QUOTE]
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33 year old difficult child homeless in CO
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