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Parent Emeritus
34yo Difficult Child back in area, same ol, same ol
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675560" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Seeking, I am remembering that your parents, particularly your mother, for many years has undermined you and your husband.</p><p></p><p>What she is doing now, with your Dad's help, by this past dynamic is made particularly hurtful.</p><p></p><p>It is not just helping Son, it is hurtful to you, on her part. It is as if there is a kind of mean and spiteful triangulation going on, where they, your son and your parents, unite against you, telling mean and ugly stories.</p><p></p><p>Your son is responsible for his behavior and so are your parents.</p><p>Every single time, every single meal they are compromising themselves. </p><p></p><p>I know how hard it is. My son did this about me. A little bit with family but mostly with neighbors. It was ugly. I was pilloried. Still, I do not talk with almost anybody on my block even though almost all of the original people are gone. The memory of it is not.</p><p></p><p>Your mother knows what she is doing, I think. Your son is just being who he has been for years now. He is acting a jerk, yes. But your mother and father should not be listening to his gossip. They should not listen. That they are is a betrayal that you do not deserve, never deserved.</p><p></p><p>I am glad for you that for some months your son has behaved civilly in the few contacts there have been. </p><p></p><p>Your mother and father should never have told you about the gossip. What was the need? You are adults. Professional people, retired or not. What you choose to do or not to do is your business. They should have considered the source. That you guys are the topic at hand is laughable given how your son has chosen to live his life. That your parents listened and even told you is another betrayal, in my mind, that you do not deserve. Never deserved.'</p><p></p><p>This story is not a new one. Nor has it happened, just to you. As Cedar points out.</p><p>I am sorry. </p><p></p><p>I wish these things had not happened to all of us. They are the worst hurts. Because of the love. This is very rocky ground that love must travel. But it does.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675560, member: 18958"] Seeking, I am remembering that your parents, particularly your mother, for many years has undermined you and your husband. What she is doing now, with your Dad's help, by this past dynamic is made particularly hurtful. It is not just helping Son, it is hurtful to you, on her part. It is as if there is a kind of mean and spiteful triangulation going on, where they, your son and your parents, unite against you, telling mean and ugly stories. Your son is responsible for his behavior and so are your parents. Every single time, every single meal they are compromising themselves. I know how hard it is. My son did this about me. A little bit with family but mostly with neighbors. It was ugly. I was pilloried. Still, I do not talk with almost anybody on my block even though almost all of the original people are gone. The memory of it is not. Your mother knows what she is doing, I think. Your son is just being who he has been for years now. He is acting a jerk, yes. But your mother and father should not be listening to his gossip. They should not listen. That they are is a betrayal that you do not deserve, never deserved. I am glad for you that for some months your son has behaved civilly in the few contacts there have been. Your mother and father should never have told you about the gossip. What was the need? You are adults. Professional people, retired or not. What you choose to do or not to do is your business. They should have considered the source. That you guys are the topic at hand is laughable given how your son has chosen to live his life. That your parents listened and even told you is another betrayal, in my mind, that you do not deserve. Never deserved.' This story is not a new one. Nor has it happened, just to you. As Cedar points out. I am sorry. I wish these things had not happened to all of us. They are the worst hurts. Because of the love. This is very rocky ground that love must travel. But it does. COPA [/QUOTE]
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34yo Difficult Child back in area, same ol, same ol
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