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Parent Emeritus
34yo Difficult Child back in area, same ol, same ol
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675728" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think that parents do not give up. They continue to try to rein us in and to discipline us...not to make us better...(while they may try to justify it this way) but to work out their own problems...the same ones they saddled on us when we were young. It is the nature of things.</p><p>I think it is more that parents (grandparents) hold onto their sense that we (their children) do not get it, have done it wrong...and that <em>they</em> could do it better.</p><p></p><p>My mother was always supportive (when she talked to me). But as she got very old, and her health caused her brain to slip, she slipped when talking to me, thinking I was my sister.</p><p></p><p>She said something like: "She lets him do whatever he wants. She does everything for him." *Talking about my son and I.</p><p></p><p>My mother was not sufficiently involved with my son to deal with him directly, as in your case, Seeking. But she had her ideas. Why did she not try to give me the strength to do the right thing, earlier, with my son? Instead of talking behind my back, to my sister?</p><p></p><p>These things are complicated. I had to do everything for myself. Educate myself. Teach myself. House and clothe and feed myself. From 18 on, with a respite when I was 20.</p><p></p><p>As I write thus I think there is a dishonesty that permeates the generations, about us. That we may have to always keep in mind. It is a twisted, insidious thing, how love can exist, does exist in these weeds.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675728, member: 18958"] I think that parents do not give up. They continue to try to rein us in and to discipline us...not to make us better...(while they may try to justify it this way) but to work out their own problems...the same ones they saddled on us when we were young. It is the nature of things. I think it is more that parents (grandparents) hold onto their sense that we (their children) do not get it, have done it wrong...and that [I]they[/I] could do it better. My mother was always supportive (when she talked to me). But as she got very old, and her health caused her brain to slip, she slipped when talking to me, thinking I was my sister. She said something like: "She lets him do whatever he wants. She does everything for him." *Talking about my son and I. My mother was not sufficiently involved with my son to deal with him directly, as in your case, Seeking. But she had her ideas. Why did she not try to give me the strength to do the right thing, earlier, with my son? Instead of talking behind my back, to my sister? These things are complicated. I had to do everything for myself. Educate myself. Teach myself. House and clothe and feed myself. From 18 on, with a respite when I was 20. As I write thus I think there is a dishonesty that permeates the generations, about us. That we may have to always keep in mind. It is a twisted, insidious thing, how love can exist, does exist in these weeds. COPA [/QUOTE]
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34yo Difficult Child back in area, same ol, same ol
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