35th HS reunion--still hate those people

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by jbrain, Oct 13, 2007.

  1. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    my 35th high school reunion was this past August--I didn't go though I considered it. Today I was looking at the website they have and all the pics. Well, I'm glad I didn't go because most of the people there were the "popular" kids and they look like they are still in that clique. The pics really brought back unpleasant memories of how hard high school was. I was not popular but I wasn't one of the misfits--I guess I was just middle of the road, sort of under the radar til I was a senior and then I got a bad reputation from making out with too many boys at parties.

    I did see pics of a boy I had a crush on who led me on and then dropped me for one of the more popular girls. He looks old and not very attractive anymore--wouldn't have minded seeing him since I look better than he does at this point!

    Anyway, I figured some of you could probably relate--amazing how just seeing pics of those people made me feel like I was right back in 1972--kind of traumatizing!

  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear that.
    Actually, I've had the opposite experience. I've gone to every single reunion. The first couple were cliquish.
    But after 10 yrs, things began to shift.
    The nerds turned out to be well-traveled, very interesting people The popular ones have gone through AA and quite a few are divorced. One of the on-the-edge (of crime) girls got married and gave birth to 5 boys and 1 girl, and she's very athletic and committed to her kids' lives and sports. Thank d*G all that negative energy got channeled to the right place!
    Many more people are kind and sympathetic now ... partly because we've all matured, and partly because I'm not so shy any more and can actually listen to them and hear their real meanings instead of assuming it's going to be something mean, irrititing, or simply beyond me. Also, a lot of us have lost parents and siblings, and one or two have lost children. If that doesn't mellow you out, nothing will.

    on the other hand, I still have a recurring dream that not only have I missed my math class, I've missed it for most of the semester and can't even find it on my schedule!

  3. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    I had very bad feelings towards a lot of the kids I went to high school with. Went to some of the reunions and skipped some others. We had our 40th 2 years ago and a lot of the people seem to have improved in the last 4 or 5 years. The last two times we have gotten together it has been for funerals of classmates so maybe going to a reunion is better than that.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It sure does bring back memories, only my year was 1968. I did go to one of the reunions about 10 years ago and I discovered the same thing you did. Most of the popular kids who were in the clique were still in the same clique. Even this many years later they had no interest in learning anything about anyone outside the clique. Made me wonder why they went, don't they see each other enough?

    I was also surprised (well maybe I shouldn't have been) that most of the "popular" girls did not do very well for themselves in all these years. They were working in a grocery store, some were divorced, many looked old and not nearly the trend setters they were back then. Funny how back then they and I guess everyone else thought that they were the ones who had everything going for them.

    You know who were the really impressive ones? The so called nerds, the ones who weren't popular and didn't have a lot of friends. One was a physicist, one a medical doctor, and actress, a researcher, an artist, several teachers, many with families and careers that were fulfilling. They looked happy.

    I was reminded why I didn't like most of the girls I went to high school with. I had a few close friends, was not popular, not considered cool, yet I was happy with my life and with the choices I made. I use to wish I was one of them. I came away so grateful that I wasn't.

    I won't ever go to another reunion. And this was a girls academy.

  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    The last two times we have gotten together it has been for funerals of classmates so maybe going to a reunion is better than that.

    Gasp. That's a truly scary thought. We've lost one to leukemia and one ... no one knows.

    You know who were the really impressive ones? The so called nerds, the ones who weren't popular and didn't have a lot of friends. One was a physicist, one a medical doctor, and actress, a researcher, an artist, several teachers, many with families and careers that were fulfilling. They looked happy.

    I was reminded why I didn't like most of the girls I went to high school with. I had a few close friends, was not popular, not considered cool, yet I was happy with my life and with the choices I made.


    And this was a girls academy.

    I did the all-girls' Catholic HS thing, too. Despite the cliques, we were a close group.
  6. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I have never been very at ease at the 2 class reunions I have attended. I didn't have a tight relationship then so I don't know them well and they don't know me either.

    I agree with you that the nerds turned out to be interesting and had a much broader view of the world.

    I always told easy child and difficult child that everyone peaks at a different time. Some of those who peaked in high school never had as much success after that. I'd prefer to see my son's blossom more in their late 20's and 30's. They will be much more interesting people.

    Reunions don't do much for me but it is nice to talk to some the nice folks.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    My 20th reunion was 2 weeks ago. I live in the town I went to high school in. I run into my classmates all the time. Can't say I really wanted to go spend any more time with them. My closest friends both live out of town. One was in town the weekend before for a family thing and we talked then. The other one called and we talked for a long time. None of us was really interested in going to the reunion. It was hideously expensive for one thing. WAY out of line considering what was offered.

    The 3 of us are trying to plan a weekend here in town. I see theie parents frequently, and we all keep in touch. Others, no interest in. I can barely find things to talk about at soccer matches with a few of them.

  8. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    I have very mixed feelings. Our 40th will be next year. The only one I've attended was husband's 30th. HE had fun, but there I sat knowing no one and we took difficult child who was a baby at the time.....and he acted like a normal baby then (Lol)! All I remember is that everyone looked so OLD, except me!! :smile:

    I dunno, the aging thing makes me sad, I guess. I work really, really, really hard not to look my age....57. I'm not much interested in going to my own reunion. I only attended two years, so I don't feel like I knew anyone very well in the first place. Now, the one I'd really like to attend is where I went to school for ten years in a little farming town in MO. THAT would be wonderful......and ya know what? I think they may invite me, just for kicks!
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I went to the class ahead of my year's 20th reunion meet & greet at bar in town last year. A very good friend had flown in with her husband and kids and parents to fix up the parents rent house. Happened to be that weekend.

    A number of friends from college that we worked with came into town. We had a great time, but did very little with the other high school people.

  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Jane, I can totally relate! I have the worst memories of HS and have absolutely no desire to revisit that time in my life AT ALL.

    I've been contacted over the years for the reunions and while it was nice to play catch up with the few I actually do have fond memories of, I still didn't find myself interested in attending, especially at $100/couple, $75/single. And I would have made H join me only to hide behind him, so what would be the point?

    I would, however, love to go as a fly on the wall...just to see what happened to some of the snooty snobs I went to school with! I grew up in a divided town and, you guessed it, I was on the middle class side of town and our school was in the heart of Snob Hill (lots of new money). It was hard growing up in the 70's, early 80's when everything designer (read: Gucci, Jordache, Gloria Vanderbilt, ugh) was just going crazy, yet our side of town were more Levi's and T-shirt people, you know?

    I graduated in 81 and the last reunion was the 20 year (they tried for a 25 but didn't get a big response) and I was able to reconnect with an old friend and we've kept in contact. She sent me her copy of the yearbook because mine was damaged in an accident. It was great to see the old photos. What struck me as ironic is that all the kids who were in your face and the 'it' people were the same ones planning the reunions. That can't be coincidence!

    Sorry your experience was so crummy. Now you know. Hugs~
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It really does depend on how you felt during your high school years. My high school - it wasn't the snobbish place, it certainly wasn't classy, it was in fact fairly rough. But we were a fairly close bunch, despite some cliques. Interestingly, the most cliquey people are the ones who don't show up. One female who was absolutely horrible to me at school has been really nice when I've sat with her at two of the three reunions. She is still married to the guy she got engaged to, right out of school.

    Even at school, despite the cliques, as a class we did things together outside school. Maybe that is why we can make a success of reunions.

    We lost our first classmate the week after our final exams, right before Christmas (our school years run from January to December). He had a brain tumour and none of us had realised - we just thought he was acting weird to get attention.
    Another two classmates were killed in car accidents. Another died only a few weeks after our last reunion - heart attack.

    In contrast, husband went to one reunion, took me and the kids too. It was absolutely ghastly. While you would think it would be good to see how some classmates were succeeding, some of them were such (insert appropriate epithet here) than it was hard to be happy for them. One classmate who was a real (insert appropriate epithet here) was telling us how he did a degree in medicine, got bored with it and went back to uni to get a law degree. He's been working in legal defence of doctors but is thinking of getting back to uni - he's bored again.
    husband just looked around and all he could see were the other kids who used to bully him at school. He had been looking forward to the reunion but was very happy to get away. I'm a fairly social creature and found it VERY hard to break into conversation with any people there, even the other wives (it had been an all-male school). It was almost as if the other wives were too conscious of class distinctions, either that or they had nothing between the ears (or had been carefully trained to act that way). I even had trouble talking to the men - something very unusual for me, I only have trouble when the men themselves reject women as a class - so I felt very sorry for the other wives.

    I went to two high schools and the first one gave me a similar experience to husband's high school. A reunion was held just a couple of months ago. I refused to go. It would have cost money (for the meal and other expenses incurred in setting it up) and I did not want to be reminded of some of the most miserable years of my childhood.

    I would be happy to attend another reunion of my second high school, the one where I graduated. But there are very few people at the first one, that I ever want to pay to spend time with.

    It really does depend.

  12. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I have a ton of great memories from highschool. The ironic thing is husband and I graduated together and have attended every single reunion as the longest married highschool sweethearts. I wonder if we'll be divorced by the 30th which will be in about 2 years.

    Won't that surprise a few people. I'll probably end up sitting that one out :smile:
  13. Marg's Man

    Marg's Man Member


    Marg's second high school (where she was happiest) was, mostly, full of the kids I went to primary school with.

    I enjoyed those reunions almost as much as Marg as we reminisced about the (VERY) old days as 6-11 year olds.
  14. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I have never been to a class reunion and probably never will. I went to elementary school in Missouri, high school in Florida, and now live in Tennessee. Our high school was in a town so small we normally had graduating classes of only 35-40 so they combined three or four classes to have reunions. Very few of them actually still live in the little town where we went to school. But even when I lived in Florida, I didn't go to the few reunions they had.

    I have been in contact with a few of them on "Classmates", even a few I knew back in elementary school. And while it's wonderful to catch up with all of them, it's a little depressing too. Without exception, every last one of them seems to still be happily married to their first husband, doing very well financially, and has had these wonderful lives. And then there's ME, married and divorced twice, just scraping by financially on my own and hoping I don't end up as a bag lady when I retire in a few years!

    Nope, I think I'll stay home!
  15. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I had a great time in high school (all girl Catholic-eeeeeewwwwww!), but have never bothered with a reunion, I don't socialize with the friends that I had, and don't feel the need.

    I guess I was lucky growing up (pretty much a realist). Although all of those people were important to me at the time, I knew that (even then) the earth wouldn't stop spinning if we lost touch. No animosity, and at the time they were important to me, but I bounced around many, many different groups within our class and the classes above and below us. I guess eclectic would be the best description.

    I wish them no ill will, but $90.00 a head for the 20th was an outrage...I don't think I like ANYBODY that much! :smile:

    by the way: Marg's Man: Good one about a "very" long time ago! :smile:

  16. tinamarie1

    tinamarie1 Member

    I have never had a desire to go to any of my HS reunions. I couldn't wait for HS to end and have never looked back. I marched to my own beat for sure....made some of my own clothes, listened to punk music...had friends but not the type that would go to the reunion. They would never believe that I am the conservative soccer mom that I am today...lol
  17. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    I disliked high school. I had only one or two close friends, and was socially pretty much an outcast. I have had zero interest in and have not been to any reunions, although I did put my vital stats (marital status, # of kids, occupation) up on the website for the 30th reunion this year (class of 77). I did not even recognize most of the names.

    My dad, on the other hand, attends his reunions frequently (class of 54). There is a group of a dozen or so, plus spouses/SO's, who get together for a travel event every couple of years. They've done a cruise to Alaska and had VIP seats for a NASA launch (one of the classmates is an aerospace company exec. now).

    One of the guys in my dad's group has been divorced twice, his third wife is much younger but has become close with these people -- well, at a recent reunion they left an empty chair and poured a glass of wine for a member who'd passed away earlier that year -- and the younger woman remarked that they would have to abandon that tradition, or eventually she'd find herself seated alone at a table with 23 empty chairs and glasses of wine.

    I've just recently restablished contact with several friends from my freshman year at college. Now those people I would love to have a reunion with. I came out of my shell at college and the experience was 180 degrees the opposite of HS.

    I'd also love to see my friends from 5th through 8th grade again. I was at a Dept. of Defense overseas school those years. Trade emails now and then with one or two of them.
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I never fit in the square hole either - you aren't missing much, but you'd hope after 35 years someone would grow up and they don't OR they don't remember being "special" and treating you "Oh did you GO to our school?" yeah...I want to buy a ticket for that. hahah

    I did not need them then, I do not need them now.
  19. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    We had 900 plus kids in my graduating class. I didn't like or admire the "popular" kids and there were a lot of druggies and greasers (if you remember greasers). The majority of us were just regular people who didn't want to be labeled. I had fun in high school, but not because of my peers. I had a few friends, but mostly dated boys from other schools. Never cared about reunions, never will go to one.
  20. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I went to my 10 year reunion. 10 years ago.

    Left such a bad taste in my mouth , I just blew off my 20 year reunion this past weekend. Don't regret it, not one little bit.