It is what it is and he is what he is. He self-sabotages his life constantly. Tonight he calls me up distraught asking for my mommy skills help, which I'm happy to give out. I thought he'd be talking about bath time or bed time or something, but it turned out to be more complex. Grandson is starting to act out. Back story, as far as I know: About a month ago, difficult child found drawn pictures of Grandson's mother in his backpack with his writing "I Love Mommy" on the drawings. Lots of them. There was no drawing there about loving daddy so that upset difficult child (difficult child gets competitive with his ex) difficult child asked Grandson to draw some for him too and said he'd hang them up. I am not sure what tone of voice difficult child used to his son, but he is usually nice to him. I have no reason to think he yelled at him. Of course I wasn't there. As far as this incident goes, I'm sure there was more to it than that between himself and his crazed difficult child ex. Both of them are entirely incapable of behaving normally. I mean, I would never have said anything about the mommy pictures if I had been in his shoes. I'm sure he also said, "How come you only have pictures of mommy?" Grandson also knows that difficult child hates his stepfather and I believe Grandson likes him.I'm not sure. I just think so by a few things difficult child has told me. Grandson is exceptionally bright and perceptive for his age and he obviously knows there is bad will between difficult child, his mother and the stepfather and he tries to please everyone. The saga continues to another day that happened at his mother's house. Anyhow, apparently Grandson drew a picture of his mother, stepfather and himself in a picture and when he showed it to this mother, he then broke down hysterical, begging his mother not to tell his daddy he drew the picture. Now since his ex is crazy too, I don't know if this is the whole story, but it is what she told difficult child and difficult child says he believes it. So...I guess for the last month, Grandson has been acting kind of afraid of difficult child and tonight everything is starting to make him cry. difficult child says he is not sick; he is positive. He sent his son to his room so he could calm down and play and usually his son would come out of his room eventually, but he didn't. Well, frankly, I don't know what's going on and I don't even know my grandson. I know neighbor kids much more than Grandson. I am in no position to make any sort of assessment and I don't trust either his ex's story or difficult children perception. Plus it's late. I am worried about the entire situation because I still have PTSD thinking about how difficult child behaved during that horrible custody battle and how I had to teach myself quickly how to detach from him in those days. I have to do it again tonight. So I posted here so I could calm myself on here and maybe somebody will look at my vent...lol. I have no idea why this is something I have to fight so vigorously or why it has the capacity to overtake me, but it does. I think I'd rather not analyze it. 1/It is what it is. Whatever is going on with this stranger of a grandson, I had nothing to do with it, I wasn't there, I don't know the story, I will never know the story, and since I don't know my grandson and he doesn't know me (due in no small part to my difficult child keeping him from me when he was still close by), I have to let go of this entirely. It makes absolutely no sense for me to become emotionally engaged with a situation I don't even understand. I couldn't help my son even if I wanted to and even if I did know my grandson because I am in Wisconsin and he is in Missouri and I really don't know what is wrong. Whatever it is, it is. (That made me feel tons better) 2/I can't control anyone but me. I can choose to get upset over a situation that has nothing to do with me or I can let go and let God and hope He watches over my Missouri family. Surely He understands, while I do not. 3/Obviously whatever good came out of the custody battle, without going into detail, difficult child is screwing it up and it's his problem, not mine. I think I will go back to reading the good book I was reading before he called me after I say a prayer. God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change (in this case, I don't even understand it) The Courage to change the things I can (I can only change my reaction to my son's well-known drama and self-sabatage and dysfunctional way of life. And the Wisdom to know the difference. (The only thing I can change is my own emotions so I'm going back to that book right now and snuggling with my dogs and maybe hub too if he doesn't go to sleep later than I fall asleep...lol). I am going to choose peace. If he calls back, I am turning off my phone. I am going to give myself the rest of the night and all day tomorrow (my day off) not to hear more about this newest drama. Thanks for listening.