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37 yo daughter facing homelessness
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 707893" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I wonder if this expert is a Dr. C. If so, the posters on an estrangement forum do not think he is a very good expert. He blames the parents for every estrangement. Self proclaimed experts are not always helpful. I think you need to find a therapust who you feel comfortable with.</p><p></p><p>I would not feel comfortable trying to contact a sulking adult child and dragging her to my own therapist.</p><p></p><p>In reality, if somebody does not want us in their lives at the moment, I am guessing that it is best to respect that. The stuff you send is most likely annoying her or she isnt even reading. It is not to your benefit to think you can fix anorher human being, even an adult child who has challenges. I feel, and it did work for me, that detaching is best for me and for adult child. There is nothing you can legally do to make her get help nor give her motivation to work on herself. It has to come within her.</p><p></p><p>I went to CODA years ago and it really helped me realize i was totally codependent and to stop it. But my group never had rules we had to follow. Im not sure how i feel about that.</p><p></p><p>Im a big believer in less is more when dealing with somebody either mean or irrational. If it were me Id leave daughter alone for now. Sadly, as soon as she is really in need, you will likely hear from her with demands to help her. Thats what the types of adult children who bring us to this forum tend to do. Lay low u til they demand money, shelter or other stuff. Tbeydo not tend to work.</p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself. Do nice things for you. You earned it!<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 707893, member: 1550"] I wonder if this expert is a Dr. C. If so, the posters on an estrangement forum do not think he is a very good expert. He blames the parents for every estrangement. Self proclaimed experts are not always helpful. I think you need to find a therapust who you feel comfortable with. I would not feel comfortable trying to contact a sulking adult child and dragging her to my own therapist. In reality, if somebody does not want us in their lives at the moment, I am guessing that it is best to respect that. The stuff you send is most likely annoying her or she isnt even reading. It is not to your benefit to think you can fix anorher human being, even an adult child who has challenges. I feel, and it did work for me, that detaching is best for me and for adult child. There is nothing you can legally do to make her get help nor give her motivation to work on herself. It has to come within her. I went to CODA years ago and it really helped me realize i was totally codependent and to stop it. But my group never had rules we had to follow. Im not sure how i feel about that. Im a big believer in less is more when dealing with somebody either mean or irrational. If it were me Id leave daughter alone for now. Sadly, as soon as she is really in need, you will likely hear from her with demands to help her. Thats what the types of adult children who bring us to this forum tend to do. Lay low u til they demand money, shelter or other stuff. Tbeydo not tend to work. Take care of yourself. Do nice things for you. You earned it!:) [/QUOTE]
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37 yo daughter facing homelessness
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