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37 yo daughter facing homelessness
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 707948" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Our adult children who bring us here mostly feel better living with us, normally adults want to be independent unless they are disabled. Certainly if bed and board and food is guaranteed, they will feel less anxious. Bart didnt leave Dad until he married at around 24. And his girlfriend lived there too. I would not have let her, but it was not my business. Since leaving, Bart is self sufficient. I dont have to worry. I get the worry part.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure i think it is usually a good solution to have a grown kid at home for long. We must die. Then they are alone unless there is a large supportive family. We dont have much family. I even helped autistic son get set up well so he could be safe and self sufficient when we are gone...without us. He will perhaps grieve the most of all my kids because he is younger in mind, but he is going to have support and is used to living in his own apartment...working...running bill payments to various places by cab. He likes being on his own. It was his idea. All I can say is thank you, God.</p><p></p><p>I do not think that in my case, and we are all different, that id feel comfortable with any if my grown kids living with me. I am already 63 and i am very aware of my mortality. I dont want my kids to dwell on it, but i do want them to be equipped to deal with it when it happens. I desperately want them to go on as normal after we are gone. A big goal of mine was this as i was 40 and 42 when I adopted my younger two. I think about that now. Was it selfish to adopt two kids who will still be so young if I dont live intil a healthy 95??? I did not think it was selfish when I did it, but now I wonder. Husband was 38 and 40. Is that better? Not much. He smoked for a long time and his parents died young. </p><p></p><p>At any rate, at least my adult kids are as ready as any grown kids can be...thats the best I can hope for, after the fact.</p><p></p><p>But...we all do what we feel is right and there are no wrong answers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 707948, member: 1550"] Our adult children who bring us here mostly feel better living with us, normally adults want to be independent unless they are disabled. Certainly if bed and board and food is guaranteed, they will feel less anxious. Bart didnt leave Dad until he married at around 24. And his girlfriend lived there too. I would not have let her, but it was not my business. Since leaving, Bart is self sufficient. I dont have to worry. I get the worry part. I am not sure i think it is usually a good solution to have a grown kid at home for long. We must die. Then they are alone unless there is a large supportive family. We dont have much family. I even helped autistic son get set up well so he could be safe and self sufficient when we are gone...without us. He will perhaps grieve the most of all my kids because he is younger in mind, but he is going to have support and is used to living in his own apartment...working...running bill payments to various places by cab. He likes being on his own. It was his idea. All I can say is thank you, God. I do not think that in my case, and we are all different, that id feel comfortable with any if my grown kids living with me. I am already 63 and i am very aware of my mortality. I dont want my kids to dwell on it, but i do want them to be equipped to deal with it when it happens. I desperately want them to go on as normal after we are gone. A big goal of mine was this as i was 40 and 42 when I adopted my younger two. I think about that now. Was it selfish to adopt two kids who will still be so young if I dont live intil a healthy 95??? I did not think it was selfish when I did it, but now I wonder. Husband was 38 and 40. Is that better? Not much. He smoked for a long time and his parents died young. At any rate, at least my adult kids are as ready as any grown kids can be...thats the best I can hope for, after the fact. But...we all do what we feel is right and there are no wrong answers. [/QUOTE]
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