I don't know where to start. I am 60 and recently retired. My difficult child was born with a congenital heart defect and was always very slow mentally. He had open heart surgery at the age of 4. At the age of 7 he was tested and found to be borderline mentally challenged. It was rough getting him through school. My husband was not very supportive and was hard on his self esteem. After graduating he married a girl much younger and they had two children. Needless to say his EXwife was as slow mentally as him. It was just one problem after another ..rent not paid, no groceties, etc, I was constantly buying them groceries, paying rent, paying car repair bills. He has always held a job, never paid good money though. He was a lot attendant at a local car dealership. He started drinking and got his first dui one month after his 21st birthday. Of course, I drove him around, pd fines, and basically did a rescue. His drinking increased, he moved in and out of our home 3 times. Everytime he moved out he got worse and worse with the drinking. Received his 2nd dui, got jail time...I drove him everyday to work release, helped him with bills, etc. He cannot handle money. His paychecks are gone two days after he gets paid. He is a very nice, kind, gentle person. It would be so much easier to cut him off if he was nasty and obnoxious. But he's not. It breaks my heart to even look at him. Im not sure if his cognitive skills make him lie, or what, but he is a pathological liar. You can never get a straight answer out of him. He moved out of our home again last november and his dad said he is never moving back. He met a girl 10 years older than him. We were relieved thinking she would help with bills and help him function. Ha...she is now in jail for a probation violation, the difficult child has lost his license because he was driving on a suspended license. Here's the kicker....the only reason his license was suspended was because he didn't pay a simple $127 fine for not having his car inspected. So, in addition to not having a license, he was fired. So of course he's on the phone to me. No food, no money, no way to get around. My husband is furious and says I can't help him. However he did allow me to take food to him. I helped him apply for food stamps, unemployment, and pull his money from his pension fund. The understanding is that this is for emergencies only and will be held by his dad until he finds work then will be put into another pension fund. I've also contacted his case manager from mental health mental retardation. His dad says if difficult child moves back in, he moves out. I am trying hard to be supportive of my son while abiding by my husband's rules. It is hard to turn off my feelings, but I am trying to prepare myself that he may end up on the streets. Since I have retired, I no longer have the money to help him. I think my biggest problem is separating the drinking and lying from the low cognitive abilities. I mean. There are a lot of mentally challenged people in the world who don't drink and drive and don't break laws. I think I feel his problems are somehow my fault.