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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 39855"><p>This wasn't homework. This was class make-up work from being absent. I don't do the homework battle anymore. For awhile she wasn't being assigned homework at all. The teachers started assigning homework with no notice to me, but I don't worry about it much. She can generally do most of it without too much stress, but the math almost always throws her into a meltdown so I don't push it and they quit assigning it. They're at the age where the math they are doing is more complex, has more steps, and she has problems with complex problems. It takes her longer to catch on. And, Marg, you are right. She is a perfectionist.</p><p></p><p>I know that it's anxiety. I also know how severe how anxiety can be from personal experience. When I was in the 9th grade I lived with my grandparents for 6 months (my choice). I threw up every morning on the way to school. After the first couple of days you learn not to eat breakfast...then it's just dry heaves. The closer we got to school the worse it would be until I finally got out of the car. So, I completely get it. Sometimes I think that my personal experience has made me too empathic and makes it harder for me to force her to do what needs to be done because I know how hard it is. But I also know that if I don't, life will be harder. Sigh...</p><p></p><p>difficult child has an excellent vocabulary, but very few feeling words. With difficult child it's all or nothing. Love or hate. The best example I have is a Christmas 2 or 3 years ago. She told me repeatedly how it was the best Christmas ever. She was so happy and just a lovebug. Later that night, the batteries died in her new game. All of a sudden it was the worst Christmas ever. She is that way with everything and everyday.</p><p></p><p>I do try to help her understand that these physical complaints are anxiety and depression. She has almost zero insight and steadfastly refuses to make that correlation. I did tell her this morning that we went to the doctor last week and they did tests for mono, anemia and to check her thyroid and everything was normal so she wasn't ill and that these were symptoms of her anxiety and depression. We have a lot of things to discuss this afternoon. Her room is an absolute disaster of unimaginable proportions. I think that I will help her clean her room and take the opportunity to discuss these things further.</p><p></p><p>difficult child loves to learn. She craves it. The problem is in the format in which she is currently required to learn. It just doesn't work for her. Since school is her number 1 trigger by a mile (which just keeps her in a constant state of anxiety/agitation/frustration which leads to depression and anger), I think it's time for me to think outside the box on this issue. We've done the online school before and it was a disaster. A daily battle just like homework. I'm going to have to give this some serious thought.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 39855"] This wasn't homework. This was class make-up work from being absent. I don't do the homework battle anymore. For awhile she wasn't being assigned homework at all. The teachers started assigning homework with no notice to me, but I don't worry about it much. She can generally do most of it without too much stress, but the math almost always throws her into a meltdown so I don't push it and they quit assigning it. They're at the age where the math they are doing is more complex, has more steps, and she has problems with complex problems. It takes her longer to catch on. And, Marg, you are right. She is a perfectionist. I know that it's anxiety. I also know how severe how anxiety can be from personal experience. When I was in the 9th grade I lived with my grandparents for 6 months (my choice). I threw up every morning on the way to school. After the first couple of days you learn not to eat breakfast...then it's just dry heaves. The closer we got to school the worse it would be until I finally got out of the car. So, I completely get it. Sometimes I think that my personal experience has made me too empathic and makes it harder for me to force her to do what needs to be done because I know how hard it is. But I also know that if I don't, life will be harder. Sigh... difficult child has an excellent vocabulary, but very few feeling words. With difficult child it's all or nothing. Love or hate. The best example I have is a Christmas 2 or 3 years ago. She told me repeatedly how it was the best Christmas ever. She was so happy and just a lovebug. Later that night, the batteries died in her new game. All of a sudden it was the worst Christmas ever. She is that way with everything and everyday. I do try to help her understand that these physical complaints are anxiety and depression. She has almost zero insight and steadfastly refuses to make that correlation. I did tell her this morning that we went to the doctor last week and they did tests for mono, anemia and to check her thyroid and everything was normal so she wasn't ill and that these were symptoms of her anxiety and depression. We have a lot of things to discuss this afternoon. Her room is an absolute disaster of unimaginable proportions. I think that I will help her clean her room and take the opportunity to discuss these things further. difficult child loves to learn. She craves it. The problem is in the format in which she is currently required to learn. It just doesn't work for her. Since school is her number 1 trigger by a mile (which just keeps her in a constant state of anxiety/agitation/frustration which leads to depression and anger), I think it's time for me to think outside the box on this issue. We've done the online school before and it was a disaster. A daily battle just like homework. I'm going to have to give this some serious thought. [/QUOTE]
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