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Parent Emeritus
4 months of no contact
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 639350" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>As the weeks go by, I realize that I'm not really detached...I harbor a hope, nay, a belief, that difficult child will finally GET IT if I can just find the right key, and I was laboring under the delusion that losing me (by going no contact) would surely be it....</p><p></p><p>Stop harboring hopes of change Echo. Stop believing things about difficult child. </p><p></p><p>I did see him around the corner the other day...I was on my cell phone, and I saw him turn, walk back, and look at me....I turned away, kept talking, although I lost my train of thought completely, of course. When I turned back he was gone. </p><p></p><p>Lately my younger two PCs have been running into him more, and they report it with something like horror...along the lines of "mom, I was THIS CLOSE to difficult child on Halloween". Last night they said that they passed him (this close! again) on a street corner, and that he didn't acknowledge them, and they didn't acknowledge him.</p><p></p><p>How awful is that? I didn't mean to spread hate...if that is what is happening...I meant only to withdraw from the hurtful meaninglessness of our interactions, that were threatening my happiness, or wholeness.</p><p></p><p>I don't really know if or how to end the no contact. He is clearly the same..on the street, dirty, stringy hair, very skinny. To what end would I open contact? He'll tell me he is applying for jobs, that he is clean, that he is staying with friends who care about him and are helping him stay clean, that he plans to see a case worker, that he wants to restart his medications...all the empty empty empty that he has been saying for three plus years. He either will or won't say that it is hard on the streets, that he is going to train hop to Florida, or Lousiannaa, or Cali (as he persists in calling California). I will be left again off balance, hurting, trying to figure out how to help.</p><p></p><p>And yet...I caught his eye and turned away. And so did his brothers.</p><p></p><p>I don't really know where to put that.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 639350, member: 17269"] As the weeks go by, I realize that I'm not really detached...I harbor a hope, nay, a belief, that difficult child will finally GET IT if I can just find the right key, and I was laboring under the delusion that losing me (by going no contact) would surely be it.... Stop harboring hopes of change Echo. Stop believing things about difficult child. I did see him around the corner the other day...I was on my cell phone, and I saw him turn, walk back, and look at me....I turned away, kept talking, although I lost my train of thought completely, of course. When I turned back he was gone. Lately my younger two PCs have been running into him more, and they report it with something like horror...along the lines of "mom, I was THIS CLOSE to difficult child on Halloween". Last night they said that they passed him (this close! again) on a street corner, and that he didn't acknowledge them, and they didn't acknowledge him. How awful is that? I didn't mean to spread hate...if that is what is happening...I meant only to withdraw from the hurtful meaninglessness of our interactions, that were threatening my happiness, or wholeness. I don't really know if or how to end the no contact. He is clearly the same..on the street, dirty, stringy hair, very skinny. To what end would I open contact? He'll tell me he is applying for jobs, that he is clean, that he is staying with friends who care about him and are helping him stay clean, that he plans to see a case worker, that he wants to restart his medications...all the empty empty empty that he has been saying for three plus years. He either will or won't say that it is hard on the streets, that he is going to train hop to Florida, or Lousiannaa, or Cali (as he persists in calling California). I will be left again off balance, hurting, trying to figure out how to help. And yet...I caught his eye and turned away. And so did his brothers. I don't really know where to put that. Echo [/QUOTE]
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