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Parent Emeritus
43 year old homeless son
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 637648" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Often when we discontinue the financial gravy train, our kids react in dramatic, sometimes violent, almost always highly manipulative ways. He is used to getting what he needs from you by applying guilt, so think about it, if guilt has worked, he will now apply a lot more guilt, the "I'm going to die" is the trump card often used in one way or the other. If you feel he is serious, call the police and report a possible suicide threat. Tell your son every single time he threatens that, you will call the police. It's hard to work ourselves through those kind of threats, but give it serious thought before you respond in your usual way. At some point in this dynamic, someone is going to have to change and let's face it, it's going to have to be you, he has a big stake in you staying the same. </p><p></p><p>Don't allow your son to squeeze all the life and money out of you, you deserve your own life. There is an end to parenting in the way in which we continue to take care of them. It's your life, grab hold of it and take care of YOU.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 637648, member: 13542"] Often when we discontinue the financial gravy train, our kids react in dramatic, sometimes violent, almost always highly manipulative ways. He is used to getting what he needs from you by applying guilt, so think about it, if guilt has worked, he will now apply a lot more guilt, the "I'm going to die" is the trump card often used in one way or the other. If you feel he is serious, call the police and report a possible suicide threat. Tell your son every single time he threatens that, you will call the police. It's hard to work ourselves through those kind of threats, but give it serious thought before you respond in your usual way. At some point in this dynamic, someone is going to have to change and let's face it, it's going to have to be you, he has a big stake in you staying the same. Don't allow your son to squeeze all the life and money out of you, you deserve your own life. There is an end to parenting in the way in which we continue to take care of them. It's your life, grab hold of it and take care of YOU. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
43 year old homeless son
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