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43 year old homeless son
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 639283" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Marie, I can so relate to what you are going through. My difficult child has used similar tactics on me. I have found that those months that go by where I don't hear from him usually means that he is doing ok. As ok as he can be for being jobless and homeless. When I do hear from him it's always a sob story of how bad his situation is. I've heard the same things over and over, "I don't have any money for food, have to beg for food so I don't starve, it sucks to sleep out in the cold, my stuff got stolen, no one cares about me, I'm sick of my life and can't take it anymore, etc....." In the past I would remind him that he is the one that got himself into the situation he's in, and that me and my husband bent over backwards trying to help him. I found this approach only fueled his fire and an argument would ensue. My difficult child is a master at talking in circles, basically there is no arguing with him as he will always have the last word. I have learned when I do talk to him and he goes into his sob stories I simply say, "I"m really sorry you are having a tough time" I never ask anymore what I can do for him. I have done enough. Most people are lucky to get a second chance, my difficult child has been given hundreds of chances.</p><p>I know how your heart is breaking but remember, you did not do this to him, he just like my difficult child did this to themselves. They are grown men, mine is 33, and they have made their choice to live the lives they are living. I accepted the fact a long time ago that there is nothing I can do to change him and there is nothing I can to save him. The only thing I can do is pray for him. Ultimately it is up to each of our difficult child's to decide that they are fed up with the life they have been living and seek out real help, not just guilting mommy or daddy into helping them when they feel desperate.</p><p>Hugs to you!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 639283, member: 18516"] Marie, I can so relate to what you are going through. My difficult child has used similar tactics on me. I have found that those months that go by where I don't hear from him usually means that he is doing ok. As ok as he can be for being jobless and homeless. When I do hear from him it's always a sob story of how bad his situation is. I've heard the same things over and over, "I don't have any money for food, have to beg for food so I don't starve, it sucks to sleep out in the cold, my stuff got stolen, no one cares about me, I'm sick of my life and can't take it anymore, etc....." In the past I would remind him that he is the one that got himself into the situation he's in, and that me and my husband bent over backwards trying to help him. I found this approach only fueled his fire and an argument would ensue. My difficult child is a master at talking in circles, basically there is no arguing with him as he will always have the last word. I have learned when I do talk to him and he goes into his sob stories I simply say, "I"m really sorry you are having a tough time" I never ask anymore what I can do for him. I have done enough. Most people are lucky to get a second chance, my difficult child has been given hundreds of chances. I know how your heart is breaking but remember, you did not do this to him, he just like my difficult child did this to themselves. They are grown men, mine is 33, and they have made their choice to live the lives they are living. I accepted the fact a long time ago that there is nothing I can do to change him and there is nothing I can to save him. The only thing I can do is pray for him. Ultimately it is up to each of our difficult child's to decide that they are fed up with the life they have been living and seek out real help, not just guilting mommy or daddy into helping them when they feel desperate. Hugs to you!! [/QUOTE]
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43 year old homeless son
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