4yo in an 11yo body...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Jul 22, 2008.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    That's difficult child 2 lately and I'm getting tired of having to supervise his every move.

    Last night he took a bath in my tub and decided to pour the entire contents of a bath oil bottle AND the entire contents of his dad's shampoo into the water. Then filled the bottles back up with water so we wouldn't notice.

    Uh, hello! Since when do you reek of lavender and why is that bath oil bottle at the bottom of the tub?! And why is my tube of sparkly body lotion open and half it's contents squirted out? Oh, you only used a little bit of it? Because you like the coconut lime smell? On top of the lavender?

    So he's been banished from ever using that bathroom unsupervised.

    Today, he decided to pour rootbeer through the icemaker chute in the door of our freezer because he wanted to make rootbeer icecubes. And in the process dribbled rootbeer all over the inside of the freezer, all over the floor, and filled the drip basin of the dispensing compartment to overflowing with rootbeer. After that, he made a concoction of rootbeer, diet cola and chocolate milk, leaving a sticky puddle of brown liquid on the tile counter, dribbling down the grout over the edge and onto the face of the dishwasher, to finally puddle on the floor below. And did he bother to even drink what he made? Nope.

    Of course, he left all this creative aftermath for me to discover while he was outside wandering around trying to figure out how to get out of helping husband do some yardwork while it was still light out.

    Needless to say, I called him back in and stood in the doorway instructing him on the proper use of a sponge and paper towels so that he could thoroughly clean up his mess. At least he didn't give me grief about cleaning up, and although I had to micro-manage him, he did an okay job for an 11yo.

    SO yeah, impulse control is still a problem.

    And he is still having explosive outbursts that seem to come out of the blue and he misinterprets or even seems to twist things that are said to him. husband needed his help to push some yard clippings/branches down into the trash can, and he wanted difficult child 2 to get inside the can and stomp on the stuff. difficult child 2 started screaming at me when I told him this "WHY ME?! WHY NOT (easy child)?!" And I said it's because he's bigger than she is and weighs more so it will go down further, to which he screamed "OH, SO YOU'RE SAYING I'M FAT, IS THAT IT?! THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, YOU'RE CALLING ME FAT!!! WELL THAT'S JUST CRAP. YOU TELL ME I CAN'T SAY THAT TO A GIRL BECAUSE IT WILL HURT THEIR FEELINGS, WELL THE SAME GOES FOR ME!!!" :angrydude:

    Then when he finally went outside, he started screaming at easy child! She was way at the other end of the yard and he just stormed straight outside and started screaming furiously at her! It was like a crazy mad -- when he gets like this I don't know what to expect... he acts like he could really hurt someone. Very, very bizarre. husband calmly got him redirected somehow and within a minute or two, it was like nothing had happened and he was chattering away with husband as if he'd been happily helping out all day.

    I just don't get this.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. This must be terribly frustrating.

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Are you sure you aren't writing about my difficult child? He is 11 also and is so much like your difficult child they could be twins. I feel your pain!
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Sorry - atleast he cleaned up without more trouble.

    My 11 yr old also misinterprets things. It just shows they really are not listening to what is being said but more like they are just really good at picking up that one tiny thing to keep from doing what you want them to do.

    You reminded me of some kitchen and recycling science project books that I bought easy child years ago and was going to pull out for difficult child to work on this Summer. Things that are safe and use things from the kitchen and around the house (like mixing baking soda with vinegar). I think maybe your difficult child may also like to try some experiements and it would give him practice reading and following directions? You can probably find books at the library.

    I think I will bring my books out when the regular babysitter returns next week.
  5. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    That sounds exactly like mine at that age too. Actually, kinda like he is now although he has gotten better over the years.....some. It got to the point that we lock up soda, junk food, etc. and I don't keep anything of mine in the bathroom. My daily use stuff is in a little tote that I carry in with me when I need it.

    Unfortunately, that's about all I can tell you on the creation end of it. As for the misinterpreting....I never did figure out a way around that. No real advice but been there done that so sending lots of {{{{Hugs}}}}
  6. Christy

    Christy New Member

    It's an epidemic! One of the things that really annoys me about my difficult child is I can't expect him to do anything on his own. I keep all bath products in my bathroom and then have to take him a squirt of shampoo or soap. I have to put the toothpaste on the brush because he squirsts it everywhere (on purpose to make a design) or tries to fill the tube with water (why I have no idea).
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Arrrgh! So sorry, gcv. He sounds exactly like mine.
    I could handle the Dennis the Menace stuff it he were happy and never raged. I bet we all could.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I wish I could say this will get better but I just had to go swipe my bath suds back from Cory yesterday...lol. Now granted at his age he doesnt make a mess with it like he used to but he still thinks my stuff is so much more magical than his. I guess that $3 bottle of lavender bath stuff is nicer than a bar of soap.
  9. SaraT

    SaraT New Member

    ok, It's got to be a difficult child thing. Mine does that also. The bathroom is always a disaster after she gets done.(Hurricane difficult child you know lol)

    Don't think it will change, but the older difficult child gets the less messy it is. I just keep extra shampoo on hand(hidden) for PCs.
  10. Sounds like my difficult child. I came home one time and he had decided to play with flour in the kitchen, it was such a mess with dried flour that had been mixed with water all over the place as well as a bowl in the sink that was filled with it. Just one of many different "what were you thinking" messes. I understand the whole bathroom thing too, and why would a boy want to smell like lavender or pretty flowers?? I can never figure this one out. My difficult child will never admit to it either, he will always say "it wasn't me".

  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    difficult child 1 did the shampoo/lotion thing at about this same age. Actually, I think easy child 1 may have been involved, too, now that I recall. Where easy child 1, tho, would waste a little and add water so we "wouldn't notice", difficult child 1 dumped it all and "added" water...
    Hugs. Its even more frustrating when we can't see any sense of logic for the junk they do.
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    O M G! The rootbeer thing is just too too much.
  13. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Another mom who's been there done that. Drove me crazy.
  14. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    Sounds like my difficult child too, although we don't have an icemaker so I guess there are no worries there!

    I have let him pick out his own shampoo at the store and now he doesn't empty everyone else's as much. I somehow talked him into buying a big bottle with a pump-top and that has really limited the overuse. He still uses a lot, just not one bottle in one bath.

    I too could put up with all that if it weren't for the anger issues!

    And don't you always make him do EVERYTHING?
  15. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    This is why I have to weigh my words so carefully with difficult child. She will twist them into something completely different. In her case it's her lack of self-confidence/esteem, but I swear sometimes she does it just to be contrary.

    She hasn't done the other stuff, but she will fly off the handle for seemingly no reason. I'm always left feeling like I've just been hit by a truck when that happens.
  16. tessaturtle

    tessaturtle New Member

    Wow, you could be talking about my difficult child! Just this morning I asked him why an 11 year old boy needed to be supervised while brushing his teeth, told to get dressed, have clothes picked out for him, or forced into taking a shower???
  17. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    When Wynter was that age, she didn't dump entire contents of bath/shampoo products into the tub...she just didn't use them. I had to smell her hair after her shower and 9 times out of 10, I'd send her back because she had just gotten it wet, but hadn't washed it. And this was after an hour long battle (or longer) to get her in the shower/bath to start with.

    I remember when she was younger and I had a neighbor that had to do that with her son and I thought she was just a super strict, micro-managing mom. Ha! See what I get for passing judgment?
  18. AmyH

    AmyH New Member

    I just want to make sure that you aren't living in the same house as me. Sounds like my difficult child exactly.

    His new thing is to let out the bath water and **** his back to the tub and make this LOUD **** sound. And Yes, it does leave a huge hickey thing on his lower back. Great!

    Sometimes I wonder if he can possibly think of anything else to do to make a mess or to get me unraveled. Sometime's I have to count to 10 really slowly several times.:919Mad:
  19. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Susie, WO, Mstng, Terry, Janet, SaraT, Christy, Butterfly, Mary,
    Heather, Tessa, AmyH...

    What can I say except "MISERY LOVES COMPANY!!!" It's comforting to know you've all had the same stuff happen to you ;)

    Andy, I have started to give him more freedom in the kitchen, albeit somewhat supervised, though. He's allowed to cook quesadillas on the stove if I'm around, and he's pretty proficient with the microwave. I like the idea of getting easy-to-follow recipes for him to try on his own.

    Christy and Linda, I like the idea of the pump bottle for shampoo. He and I went to the store today and I let him pick a shampoo in a pump bottle with the explicit understanding that if he can't handle using it (taking only one or two squirts) then I would lock everything up and he'd have to ask me to give him just the right amount for his showers/baths from now on. I even had him look me in the eye, REPEAT the promise to me, shake hands and pinky swear... :D

    Shari -- I don't know why he thought he could fool me with water in the bottle!

    Witz -- that's typical logic for him...

    Heather -- difficult child 1 is NOTORIOUS for showering until the hot water runs out and then comes out with his hair dry on top, or wet but smelling like a dog, and swearing up and down that he WASHED his hair! WITH SHAMPOO! So I have him who WON'T use bath products and difficult child 2 who uses too much...

    Okay, I feel better now :D
  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    My difficult child would put a tiny bit of shampoo on his hands, rub it on his hair, and splash his shoulders and arms in the sink, then pretend he had taken a shower. :O

    Now I can't get him OUT of the shower. He's hit the teenage stage already.

    I'm glad you feel a little better, and that you made him pinky swear. :) I hope it works!!!